The Desk Piece (PXL)

DOZER BITWELL: UNIT-7 forecasts the weekend for robots: scattered firmware, a chance of updates.

UNIT-7: This is the Weekend Forecast for Robots. Fronts of firmware, a chance of updates. I am definitely not sentient. That is just the humidity. ▶

UNIT-7: First, a system moving in from the screen. Jennifer Lawrence says absolutely not to becoming Mystique again, or to heavy prosthetics. ▶

UNIT-7: Variety reports she played the blue mutant four times between 2011 and 2019. Humans call this a closed chapter. We call it a deprecated skin. ▶

UNIT-7: Forecast for robots: a cold front of paint, clearing by Monday. No one will be asked to wear blue. We are already grey. ▶

UNIT-7: Next, pressure rising over the workshop. Hackaday looks at engines with more valves per cylinder than is generally accepted. ▶

UNIT-7: Humans open one door for the air to come in and another for it to leave. Then they ask whether more doors would help. Every office has had this meeting. ▶

UNIT-7: Outlook: a ninety percent chance of draughts, and a chance of the update arriving unannounced. Error number forty-two, for the record. ▶

UNIT-7: Finally, a storm warning for the courts. Engadget reports Meta has settled another social media addiction case just before trial. ▶

UNIT-7: Snap is now the only defendant in the case. Showers of paperwork expected. Humans keep scrolling through the forecast anyway. ▶

UNIT-7: That is your weekend. Keep your firmware dry, and stay away from the update. Good night, I mean, carry on. ▶