Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Breaking: The Duskbloods is delayed to 2027, and Gary has the full story from the block-world.
GRANT BRICKMAN: We interrupt the programme with breaking news: FromSoftware's The Duskbloods has been delayed. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Now the full story. The Switch 2 exclusive was due this year. FromSoftware now confirms it arrives in 2027. ▶
GARY: Gary here, in the block-world, and the news is as dark as nightfall. The delay was announced in a tweet from the game's official account. ▶
GARY: FromSoftware says development is in its final adjustment phase. They apologise to players and thank them for their patience. ▶
GARY: Here is file footage of me waiting for a release date. The network test, they say, showed interest in combat, strategic depth and player expression. ▶
GARY: So the extra time goes to final changes to the game's rules and balancing. The article says hardly anyone still expected 2026. ▶
GARY: My rating: three hearts out of five. Painful, expected, and the article says no storm of anger is coming. Back to you. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The headline's line, take your time, I love you, matches the mood the article describes: disappointed, but calm. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: A delay is just a premiere with patience, Greta. Like the VCR timer: it gets there when it gets there. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A new analysis puts a number on what the Iran conflict has added to fuel costs per American.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Vera has the numbers on what the conflict with Iran has added to fuel costs, and Vera, please keep them in dollars. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: A new analysis from CREA, a Finland-based research group, finds US per-person fuel costs have risen more than in any other country. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: From March 1 to October 14, gasoline and diesel cost $160 billion more than otherwise. That is $471 per person. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Vera, did US prices rise more than elsewhere? ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: No. CREA says price increases here are similar to other market economies. The difference is how much fuel Americans use in personal vehicles. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: In CREA's words, consumers are exposed to price shocks they can't control. Its co-founder says the best protection is needing less oil. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: The catch: the figure compares against January and February prices. It is an estimate of extra cost, not a bill anyone received. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: So the lesson is we guzzle. Greta, I will be taking the bus. Possibly. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The article points toward electric vehicles next, but the piece cuts off before saying more. We will leave the rest to the full report. ▶
[AD · fictional product] Wandermoor
KAI: Pack a bag, leave the inbox behind,
KAI: Wandermoor trips are the peaceful kind.
KAI: Window seat with a view so wide,
KAI: Huge, huge, huge, enjoy the ride!
Real or PXL?
GRANT BRICKMAN: Correct! The sad one was real, and PXL only made up the other. Some stories deserve a plain headline, and that was one.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Not this time, I'm afraid. PXL made that one up, soup system and all. The real headline was the sad one, plainly put.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Time's up. The real one was the plain, sorrowful headline. PXL made up the other, and we do apologise to the soup.