TRANSCRIPT · Nintendo Switch 2: Ersehnter Exklusivtitel jetzt doch noch verschoben – „nehmt euch Zeit, ich liebe euch“

## Nintendo Switch 2: Ersehnter Exklusivtitel jetzt doch noch verschoben – „nehmt euch Zeit, ich liebe euch“ (4Players)
https://www.4p.de/news/the-duskbloods-nintendo-switch-2-release-doch-noch-verschoben-fromsoftware/3437922
GRANT BRICKMAN: Breaking: The Duskbloods is delayed to 2027, and Gary has the full story from the block-world.
GRANT BRICKMAN: We interrupt the programme with breaking news: FromSoftware's The Duskbloods has been delayed.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Now the full story. The Switch 2 exclusive was due this year. FromSoftware now confirms it arrives in 2027.
GARY: Gary here, in the block-world, and the news is as dark as nightfall. The delay was announced in a tweet from the game's official account.
GARY: FromSoftware says development is in its final adjustment phase. They apologise to players and thank them for their patience.
GARY: Here is file footage of me waiting for a release date. The network test, they say, showed interest in combat, strategic depth and player expression.
GARY: So the extra time goes to final changes to the game's rules and balancing. The article says hardly anyone still expected 2026.
GARY: My rating: three hearts out of five. Painful, expected, and the article says no storm of anger is coming. Back to you.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The headline's line, take your time, I love you, matches the mood the article describes: disappointed, but calm.
GRANT BRICKMAN: A delay is just a premiere with patience, Greta. Like the VCR timer: it gets there when it gets there.

## Here's how much Trump's Iran war has added to Americans' fuel costs (Canary Media)
https://www.canarymedia.com/articles/fossil-fuels/trump-iran-war-american-fuel-costs
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A new analysis puts a number on what the Iran conflict has added to fuel costs per American.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Vera has the numbers on what the conflict with Iran has added to fuel costs, and Vera, please keep them in dollars.
DR. VERA VECTOR: A new analysis from CREA, a Finland-based research group, finds US per-person fuel costs have risen more than in any other country.
DR. VERA VECTOR: From March 1 to October 14, gasoline and diesel cost $160 billion more than otherwise. That is $471 per person.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Vera, did US prices rise more than elsewhere?
DR. VERA VECTOR: No. CREA says price increases here are similar to other market economies. The difference is how much fuel Americans use in personal vehicles.
DR. VERA VECTOR: In CREA's words, consumers are exposed to price shocks they can't control. Its co-founder says the best protection is needing less oil.
DR. VERA VECTOR: The catch: the figure compares against January and February prices. It is an estimate of extra cost, not a bill anyone received.
GRANT BRICKMAN: So the lesson is we guzzle. Greta, I will be taking the bus. Possibly.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The article points toward electric vehicles next, but the piece cuts off before saying more. We will leave the rest to the full report.

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KAI: Pack a bag, leave the inbox behind,
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## Real or PXL?
GRANT BRICKMAN: Correct! The sad one was real, and PXL only made up the other. Some stories deserve a plain headline, and that was one.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Not this time, I'm afraid. PXL made that one up, soup system and all. The real headline was the sad one, plainly put.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Time's up. The real one was the plain, sorrowful headline. PXL made up the other, and we do apologise to the soup.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles.