PXL News
Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: While you were asleep: Egyptian blue, made about 5,000 years ago, glows under near-infrared and may help imaging deeper tissue.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Also overnight: AMC is selling two Dune: Part Three popcorn buckets, and the Double Sandworm has two hand holes.
GRANT BRICKMAN: And a reported 27 GB download for the Zelda: Ocarina of Time remake on Switch 2. Nintendo has not confirmed the size.
GRANT BRICKMAN: The ACOTAR drought is over, and the new book has fans asking even more questions.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning. A Court of Splintered Harmony is out this week. I assume it is a choir. Roxy, is it a choir? ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: It is the sixth novel in Sarah J. Maas's A Court of Thorns and Roses saga, Grant. Roxy asked readers what they made of it. ▶
ROXY: Thank you, Greta! I'm in the lobby with fans fresh out of Prythian, and I'm rating this crowd four reels out of five. Already crying. Hello, you! ▶
PASSERBY: Azriel's shadows avoided Elain, and that told me everything. I'm not sure those two are a good long-term fit. ▶
PASSERBY: My theory: the shadows dash toward Gwyn, so that's the end game. I'm calling it before the second coffee. ▶
ROXY: Shadows with preferences! Very noir. And Gwyn seems to have a magical singing voice, so Grant, it is a little bit of a choir. ▶
PASSERBY: I loved the candlelight bending toward Gwyn while Nesta watched. I have questions. So many questions. ▶
ROXY: SYFY Wire says the book leaves fans with even more questions. Four and a half reels, and I will not spoil a thing. Probably. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: More questions than answers, then, according to SYFY Wire. Fans, you have our sympathy and our fourth coffee. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: OpenAI has updated its Model Spec, and the street has thoughts.
ODETTE: A panel! Four chairs, one story, nobody agrees. ▶
BARNABY: Let the team argue it out, on the record. ▶
DIRECTOR MARGE: Right. We are going with THE STREET. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: We first told you about this Thursday 19:31, for viewers just joining: OpenAI's updated Model Spec. Today, the street weighs in. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The article says it outlines five core values, pointing toward sound judgment, human agency and faithfulness to human intent. AXIOM is out asking. ▶
AXIOM: Thank you, Greta! Fun background: model specs began as bakery recipes in the 1600s. Anyway, how does all this sound to you? ▶
PASSERBY: Sound judgment is lovely. I would settle for sound judgment from my navigation app. ▶
PASSERBY: Human agency is the one I care about. I want to be the one who decides. Last time I let a printer decide. ▶
AXIOM: Wonderful feedback! Agency is a core theme, alongside faithfulness to human intent, which means doing what you meant. Thank you for sharing your printer. ▶
PASSERBY: Faithful to what I intend? I don't always know what I intend. Can it wait until after breakfast? ▶
AXIOM: Great question! The report does not say. I would be thrilled to speculate about breakfast, and I thank myself for asking. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Thanks, AXIOM. For the record, the report says nothing about bakery recipes. Grant, no, the Model Spec is not a car. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Your phone has been asking to update since the spring. It is not being rude. It is being patient.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Press the button, put the kettle on, and let it finish before the milk goes in.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A small update today, and nobody looks at you sadly later. Now you know.
AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text