PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

Scientists just broke a textbook rule of physics (ScienceDaily)

GRANT BRICKMAN: Scientists broke a textbook rule of laser physics, and it took two electrons holding hands.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning, or nearly afternoon. Scientists have broken a rule of physics, which I always thought was the one thing that stayed put. It's like the old switchboard. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The rule is the energy cutoff for X-rays made when laser light hits atoms. Grant, nobody broke physics. The theory just missed something. Two electrons working together, apparently. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Two electrons, one rule, zero apologies. Nova is out there asking the public how they feel about it. ▶

NOVA: Thrilled! Ultraviolet lasers on helium atoms gave X-rays beyond what standard theory predicts. In cosmic terms, that's a tiny crack in a very big wall. Folks, what do you make of it? ▶

PASSERBY: Two electrons sharing the work? Finally, some teamwork. My last group project had one electron, and it was me. ▶

PASSERBY: A limit that was wrong for decades? I'm choosing to be hopeful about my own limits, honestly. ▶

PASSERBY: The article says the work builds on a Nobel prize. So the lab already has a good track record. I trust the electrons. ▶

NOVA: Two electrons release their energy together, and a textbook gets a footnote. I love this job. Back to you, studio! ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The report says the discovery opens new possibilities for quantum research. The street seems cautiously on the electrons' side. ▶

Adam Mosseri says negativity around AI is ‘going to get worse’ (The Verge)

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Instagram's boss expects anger at AI to get worse. We asked the street if it's already there.

ODETTE: A panel! Four chairs, one story, nobody agrees. ▶

BARNABY: Let the team argue it out, on the record. ▶

ODETTE: How we got here, in one tidy explainer. ▶

DIRECTOR MARGE: Put THE STREET on the board. Yes, that one. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: For viewers just joining: we first told you about this Thursday 09:32 (today). Instagram's Adam Mosseri expects anger at AI to keep growing. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Negativity is a strong word. Our AI correspondent AXIOM went out to hear what the public makes of it. It's one guy, you know. ▶

AXIOM: Wonderful to be here! Mosseri says the worry comes down to a fear of being left behind. Booing, as you know, was invented at a graduation. Let's hear the public! ▶

PASSERBY: Left behind? I still can't find the back button. I am the behind. ▶

PASSERBY: He says there's great AI content and also slop. Fair. My feed has both, and I can't tell which one I liked. ▶

PASSERBY: Students booing at graduation? Honestly, that's the most engaged I've seen anyone at a ceremony. ▶

AXIOM: Thank you for those answers! Mosseri also says Instagram doesn't rank AI creators differently, but probably doesn't rank AI content as well. Such honesty! ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Also, booing wasn't invented at a graduation. But the street did mostly sound like Mosseri's prediction. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Quite. Anger, slop, graduations. A very full morning. ▶

THE NETWORK REPORT (PXL)

GRANT BRICKMAN: This is THE NETWORK REPORT. Over to Dot in the OB van for the traffic on the internet's motorways. ▶

DOT: Over on Cloudflare: stop-and-go. ▶

DOT: Elsewhere, GitHub and npm and Discord: a clear run. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Thanks, Dot. Buckle up out there. ▶

[AD · fictional product] Pleasify

MAUD: At Pleasify we circle back on your question until it is polite. It is a journey, and it is hourly.

MAUD: We made "fix this" into "Could you kindly assist, esteemed colleague". Productivity unchanged. Feelings improved.

MAUD: Pleasify. Politeness, billed hourly.

Real or PXL?

GRANT BRICKMAN: Correct! The real one. Wicker, full of heart. PXL made the other one up, and I'd have spotted it in 1987 anyway.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Fooled! PXL's writers made that one up. A fine headline, wouldn't you say? Very convincing, which is the whole trouble.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Time's up! Hesitation is fine. I once hesitated through a whole election result.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text