Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: A tiny board that sees, hears and feels motion, and Ada asks the street what they would build.
GRANT BRICKMAN: A tiny board that can see, hear and think. Ada Flux is at the makerspace with the public. Ada, what are people saying? ▶
ADA: Huge news, Grant! Protonverse Labs put a camera, a microphone and motion sensors on one little board. Would you build with it? ▶
PASSERBY: Camera, mic and motion on one board? Fewer wires. My shed looks like spaghetti, so yes please. ▶
PASSERBY: A five megapixel camera on something that small? I'd point it at my tomatoes and watch them think. ▶
PASSERBY: Does it actually think? I can't get my group chat to think. ▶
PASSERBY: Wi-Fi and Bluetooth already on it. In my day we ran a cable and hoped. ▶
ADA: Love the one-board idea! The article says there's no dedicated neural processor, but small models can still run locally, like spotting objects. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: So it recognises objects, Grant. It doesn't ponder them. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Same as my VCR timer. It watches, it listens, and it never admits when it's wrong. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A German bank is making an anime, with evil piggy banks. Yes, really.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: It's real, Grant. Der Schatten über Anlegion, an isekai, which is a hero landing in another world. The bank says no AI was used. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Vera, a bank making cartoons. Is this a finance story or an entertainment story? ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: GamePro reports the Sparkasse is one of Germany's largest banks, and it has wandered into gaming before. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: So it's not an early April Fools' joke. The article says there's no punchline. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Vera, what's still unsettled? ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: The report doesn't explain why the bank chose anime. It also doesn't name the studio or the cast. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: What to watch: whether the series appears on YouTube as planned in January 2027, and how seriously it takes its piggy bank villains. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A villainous piggy bank is a real threat, Grant. Ask anyone who has shaken one. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: I have always said savings have a dark side. Next. ▶
PXL Corrects the Record (PXL)
GRANT BRICKMAN: Greta has a list of things Grant said, and none of them survives it.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Time for PXL Corrects the Record. Greta has a list, and I'd like it noted that none of it was wrong. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Grant, you asked if the new touchscreen MacBook comes with a touch bar. The touchscreen is the display itself, a Tandem OLED. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: A touch bar is a screen and a screen is a touch bar. I was simply ahead of my time. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Two feet for $330 was not a robot. It's a Hot Toys Sentinel figure from Avengers: Doomsday, made of vinyl. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: It was robot-shaped. The ransom note question remains perfectly fair. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: You said the AI decides who you are by your thumb. Touch ID reads a fingerprint. Nobody is being judged. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: The AI is one guy, Greta, and he has very good thumbs. I stand by every word. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Noted, Grant. Corrected. Moving on. ▶
[AD · fictional product] Detourist
GRANT BRICKMAN: Detourist, the agent that books your trip. You asked for Rome.
GRANT BRICKMAN: You got Rome, Georgia. A four-hour layover. And a seat that is, I am fairly sure, a standing position.
GRANT BRICKMAN: It is an AI. One guy, in the cloud. He is fairly sure he booked it. Still, a trip is a trip.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Detourist. We booked it. Somewhere.
Real or PXL?
GRANT BRICKMAN: Real! Sharp eyes. The other one came out of our writers room, and honestly, it was close.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Fooled! PXL wrote that bee headline ourselves, and it sounded perfectly respectable. Take a bow, Greta's team.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Time is up! One of those was real and one was ours. The writers are not telling.