PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

IBD may transform neurons in the gut, triggering pain even when inflammation is under control (Live Science)

GRANT BRICKMAN: Breaking: why gut pain from IBD can continue even when the inflammation is under control.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Breaking news just in: gut pain in inflammatory bowel disease may not depend on inflammation after all. Greta? ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: To be precise, Grant: a study in mice and human tissue suggests immune cells in ulcerative colitis may make pain-sensing nerves hypersensitive. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Sensitive nerves. Remarkable. I'm told this is a body story, not a weather story. Nova, take us in. ▶

NOVA: Live from the lab, and I'm thrilled! The study came out October 23 in Science Immunology. Tiny nerves, enormous implications. ▶

NOVA: We're looking at lab bench footage. People with IBD can have severe gut pain even when inflammation is controlled and the colonoscopy looks normal. ▶

NOVA: The researchers found a previously unknown pain pathway that may explain it. The findings also point to a potential way to block that pain. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The old thinking treated inflammation like a fire, with nerves alarmed by the smoke. The headline says the nerves themselves may be transformed. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: A potential way to block it. Potential, folks. We will follow this one closely. ▶

Buckle up for more body-swapping hijinks in Jumanji: Open World trailer (Ars Technica)

GRETA FOOTNOTE: A new Jumanji: Open World trailer promises more body-swapping, and a callback to the 1995 original.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Sony has a new trailer for Jumanji: Open World, out Christmas Day. More body swapping, which I assume is a gym membership. ▶

THE ANNOUNCER: In a world where a game can still swallow you whole... the old gang is back. ▶

THE ANNOUNCER: Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jack Black and Karen Gillan. Swapping bodies again. ▶

KAI: Huge. I'm in someone else's body and my hands hate this keyboard layout. ▶

UNIT-7: I was swapped into a game avatar. Officially, a reassignment. ▶

THE ANNOUNCER: Jumanji: Open World. This Christmas. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Spoiler rating three. It shows the usual hijinks and a twist that calls back to the 1995 film. ▶

ROXY: Three and a half reels! A callback to 1995 and a Christmas Day release. I cried before the logo even finished. ▶

THE SWINGOMETER (PXL)

GRANT BRICKMAN: The Swingometer counts the languages on GitHub's trending page like an election.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Good evening, and welcome to the Swingometer. Fourteen slots on GitHub's trending page, and the count is in. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Rust has three slots, twenty-one percent, up two on yesterday. TypeScript also has three, twenty-one percent, down one. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Shell has two slots, fourteen percent, up one. CSS and JavaScript hold one slot each, unchanged. OTHER has three, up one. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Rust up two! Vera, is that a swing or a corrosion story? ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: It is a programming language, Grant. And a count of slots. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Jupyter Notebook is new on the page. In election terms, a gain from nowhere. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: That is the count. Rust gains, TypeScript slips, Jupyter Notebook arrives. We'll leave it there. ▶

[AD · fictional product] Glasswick

GRANT BRICKMAN: Friends, before you share your screen, check what is open behind it.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Close the tabs. Close the inbox. Close the folder named final-final-real.

GRANT BRICKMAN: One quick look before you click share. Now you know.

Real or PXL?

GRANT BRICKMAN: Correct! You picked the real one. Glowing salt crystals and Artemis I. You can't make it up. We did, though, with the other one.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Ah, you were fooled! PXL made that one up. I assure you I knew all along and was merely being polite.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Time's up! The clock waits for no one. Not even the man who remembers the teletext page.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text