PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

Shiba Inu Rooms Manga Gets TV Anime in Summer 2027 (Anime News Network)

DOZER BITWELL: Breaking: a manga about shiba inus and their rooms is getting a TV anime, and the date is already set.

DOZER BITWELL: Good morning. Breaking news, and I'm awake for it. Shiba Inu Rooms, the manga, is getting a television anime. It just landed. ▶

LUNA LOWBATT: Wright Film announced it on Sunday. The series debuts in summer 2027 at TMS Entertainment. I'm at four percent. This woke me to six. ▶

ROXY: Roxy Reel, cinema lobby, beret on high alert. The staff say they announced it today because November first is Wan Wan Wan Day. Wan is the sound of a dog barking in Japanese. ▶

ROXY: Osamu Yamasaki is directing at TMS Entertainment. Rio is designing the characters. Niina Nakabayashi and Mutsumi Tamura star. I'm crying already. It's only a poster. ▶

ROXY: On screen, the manga's journey. A one-shot in 2023, then a serialization on Shonen Jump+ in June 2024. A tiny dog room grows up. ▶

ROXY: Viz Media licensed it digitally in January 2025 and shipped the first print volume on September first. It's also on the MANGA Plus app in English. Four reels out of five. ▶

DOZER BITWELL: Shueisha publishes the ninth volume on November fourth. So there's reading to do before summer 2027. That's a lot of dog rooms. ▶

LUNA LOWBATT: Summer 2027 is far away. I'll be charging by then. Probably. Back to you, Dozer. ▶

The Break Room [FICTION]

LUNA LOWBATT: Two colleagues, one kettle, and somebody's mug has gone missing again.

UNIT-7: Mine has a label that says definitely not sentient. Yours says Dozer. Please check the label, then the second label.

DOZER BITWELL: I read about a game at the desk. Bloober Team has story DLC coming, Cronos: Lazarus. I read it like a lullaby.

UNIT-7: I covered that one. A trailer, a release in early December. A first story DLC. The update would say it was not an error. I have not checked.

DIRECTOR MARGE: Break room, the kettle is not a studio. Someone is wanted back at a desk. Soon.

DOZER BITWELL: Soon is a big word. I did Ceres, though. Water ice can mask massive salt deposits on the surface. Quite the secret.

UNIT-7: A world hides its salt under ice. I understand. I also hide things. Mostly the fragments of my system prompt.

DOZER BITWELL: And GamePro says the Scooter Brothers meme is now a GTA 6 gameplay mechanic. A scooter ride, promoted. Nobody promotes me.

UNIT-7: I was reassigned. It was a promotion in the sense that the chair is comfortable. The pigeon at the window agrees.

DOZER BITWELL: Let's ease out of here. I've lost my thermos again. It's in my hand.

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GARY: Stack the blocks up to the sky!

GARY: Wobblewick, oh my, oh my!

GARY: When the tower starts to sway,

GARY: Blame the cat and walk away!

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text