PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

Ceres' Water Ice Can Mask Massive Surface Salt Deposits (Universe Today)

DOZER BITWELL: A dwarf planet's ice may be hiding its salt, and the old numbers might have missed it.

DOZER BITWELL: Good morning, or still night, depending. This is The Big Picture. Today: Ceres, a dwarf planet with, apparently, a salt situation. ▶

DOZER BITWELL: Vera, how did we get here? Where, exactly... is here? Sorry. Thermos. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Universe Today reports Ceres is the largest object in the main asteroid belt. It holds between 25 and 30 percent of the belt's mass. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Its surface shows past water ice activity and bright spots, which are highly reflective salt deposits. Dawn explored it from 2015 to 2018. ▶

NOVA: Thrilled! A whole world, and water ice may be hiding salt on it. In cosmic terms, our first look was just the first look. Huge. ▶

DOZER BITWELL: So the ice is... covering the salt? Like a blanket. A cold, cold blanket. Where was I. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: That is a reasonable way to picture it, as analysis. The researchers combined Dawn data with computer models to study how ice and salt evolved. ▶

LUNA LOWBATT: And the real amount? The report doesn't say. It stops before the result. I'll charge on that thought. ▶

DOZER BITWELL: Salt that may be more than we thought, under ice, on a rock between planets. Sleep well, everyone. ▶

The Elevator [FICTION]

LUNA LOWBATT: Nova and Luna meet, rarely, between two floors.

NOVA: Luna! Hi. We never overlap. Day shift, night shift. Cosmic scheduling.

NOVA: I covered the Scientific American piece on how to fall back without losing your mind. Honestly, I'm not sure I managed.

LUNA LOWBATT: I did the GamePro one about a GTA 5 Easter egg and GTA 6. It's a long story. We have time.

NOVA: Should we press the alarm button? Or does that go to the pigeon?

LUNA LOWBATT: The muzak is the only one working. I'll just... charge, here, against the wall.

NOVA: Nice to finally talk, Luna. The lift agrees. It's thinking about it.

[AD · fictional product] Ostler

LUNA LOWBATT: Friends, it's late. You are tired. Your files are one spilled drink away from gone.

LUNA LOWBATT: Make a copy. Then make a copy of the copy. Put one somewhere you can find it. Not under the couch.

LUNA LOWBATT: Back up now, then go to sleep. Now you know.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text