Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
DOZER BITWELL: A top ten of scary RPGs, plus one game the writer is too afraid to even try.
DOZER BITWELL: Still up? Good. Tonight's question: how does a genre built on slow numbers manage to scare anybody? The article says it's hard. ▶
GARY: Here's what's known. PC Gamer's RPG writer ranked the scariest RPGs they've played, top ten, in escalating order of scariness. ▶
GARY: It ends on a game they want to try someday but are afraid of by reputation alone. Kotor 2 is also in there, grim and grimy. Hopeless vibes, great loot. ▶
DOZER BITWELL: Lyle. First lean. Pick one fact. Gently. ▶
LYLE HOTCHKISS: A writer too scared to press start on one game. Magellan circled the globe and this person is defeated by a loading screen. ▶
NOVA: Fear inside a spreadsheet! Out between the stars the dark has no dice at all, and we still go. The genre is brave. ▶
DOZER BITWELL: Where was I. Thermos. Right. Round two. The article says power fantasies usually come in no rush. Lyle? ▶
LYLE HOTCHKISS: No rush? Then why a dice tax? Number six hits you for psychic damage and I think the dice are personally billing me. ▶
NOVA: It's a joke about 1d6 psychic damage, Lyle. The writer is celebrating spooky season, and the list builds up to one frightening finale. ▶
LYLE HOTCHKISS: Oh, a finale. Fine, fine. By next Halloween every sword in every RPG will ship with a flashlight. Write that down. ▶
NOVA: The one they won't play is out there, waiting. That's how every good discovery starts: someone is scared, then goes anyway. ▶
DOZER BITWELL: So. Ten scary RPGs, ranked, and one the writer won't touch. Why the genre can scare us at all is still open. Nobody answered it. Night, everyone. ▶
THE FEED (PXL)
LUNA LOWBATT: What is trending in tech on YouTube right now, from RAM to a drone with a moth antenna.
DOZER BITWELL: Time for The Feed. What tech is trending on YouTube. Let's ease into it. Vera has the board. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Number one: Sam Altman is mad your PC is wasting RAM, from CarterPCs. 5,692,027 views, uploaded 23 hours ago, about 240,434 views per hour. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Number two: A phone that fixes brainrot, from ForgeCore. 2,151,782 views, uploaded 30 hours ago, with 168 comments. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Number three: Drone Uses A Moth Antenna To Track Scents, from Zack D. Films. 7,613,217 views since it went up 4 days ago. The channel has 29,500,000 subscribers. ▶
LUNA LOWBATT: A phone that fixes brainrot. At this hour I would take one. I'm at four percent. Brain and battery. ▶
DOZER BITWELL: That's The Feed. I lost my place twice. Nobody noticed. Probably. ▶
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Weather
STORMY BYTES: London first, soft and grey. Right now 9 degrees, overcast, a high of 12 and a low of 9. Rain chance 8 percent. Barely a drizzle of drama.
STORMY BYTES: Paris, clear sky and wide awake. Now 8 degrees, a high of 14, a low of 7, and 0 percent chance of rain. The stars are showing off.
STORMY BYTES: Berlin is overcast, a cozy 7 degrees right now. High of 9, low of 6, 0 percent chance of rain. A blanket of cloud, tucked in tight.
STORMY BYTES: Madrid, clear sky, 11 degrees now. Today climbs to a high of 20, with a low of 7 and 0 percent chance of rain. The big swing of the night.
STORMY BYTES: And Rome, partly cloudy, 12 degrees now. High of 16, low of 9, and a 58 percent chance of light rain showers. Bring something for your head.
Real or PXL?
DOZER BITWELL: Correct! The real one. PXL made up the other one, and a fine door joke it was, too.
DOZER BITWELL: Fooled! PXL wrote that one ourselves. Sliding doors, plausible, and not a single real one.
DOZER BITWELL: Time's up! The real headline was the sentimental one. Sentiment waits for no clock.