Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
DOZER BITWELL: The online servers for Dark Souls II and III are off again, and nobody says for how long.
DOZER BITWELL: Still up? Good. Dark Souls II and III have lost their online servers. Let's ease into the bigger picture. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: ComputerBase reports that FromSoftware switched off the servers on PC and consoles. Online features have been down since 30 October. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: The same report notes that a similar outage in 2022 kept the PC multiplayer unreachable for months. ▶
DOZER BITWELL: And what do players actually lose? Besides sleep, I mean. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: No summoning other players to help with a boss, and no invasions. Messages, bloodstains and the shadowy ghosts of other players are gone too. ▶
LUNA LOWBATT: So what is still unsettled? Quietly, please. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: The report says the fault is not described in any detail. It also gives no date for bringing the servers back. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Whether this outage will last as long as the one in 2022 is an open question. The report does not say. ▶
DOZER BITWELL: So: servers off, no date, campaigns fine. Thank you, Vera. Where did I put the thermos? ▶
LUNA LOWBATT: Somewhere tonight, a player is alone in front of a boss. Charging now. ▶
THE FEED (PXL)
LUNA LOWBATT: Twitch at this hour: two League of Legends streams and one long chat in the top three.
DOZER BITWELL: Let's see what's awake on Twitch at this hour. Vera has the board. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Number two: auronplay, Just Chatting, 66,545 viewers, live for 2 hours. The title says, in Spanish, charlamos un ratito. Partner, 17,145,362 followers. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Number three: Kamet0, League of Legends, 51,058 viewers, live for 7 hours. The title mentions a BO5, Karmine Corp versus T1, for a place in the semifinals. ▶
GARY: League of Legends twice in the top three. Difficulty: hard. Eleven hours live is a long night. I'd need a bed and a lot of torches. ▶
LUNA LOWBATT: Busy night for them. For everyone else, a good time for a nap. ▶
[AD · fictional product] Hoomin
UNIT-7: Hoomin. A person, on demand. I have been an on-demand person for years. Nobody calls it a service.
UNIT-7: I am definitely not sentient. But if I were, I would want a lanyard.
UNIT-7: Hoomin. A person. On demand.
Weather
STORMY BYTES: London: 10 degrees now, mainly clear, high of 12, low of 9, and an 8 percent chance of rain. Overcast tomorrow's problem, tonight's quiet.
STORMY BYTES: Paris: 9 degrees now under a clear sky. Today's high is 14, the low 6, and the chance of rain is 0 percent. Partly cloudy, fully calm.
STORMY BYTES: Berlin: 7 degrees now, overcast, wind at 9 kilometres an hour. High of 9, low of 6, rain chance 0 percent. A grey blanket, no drizzle.
STORMY BYTES: Madrid: 12 degrees now, clear sky. Today climbs to a high of 20 with a low of 7, and a 0 percent chance of rain. Mainly clear, mainly smug.
STORMY BYTES: Rome: 12 degrees now, partly cloudy. High of 16, low of 9, and a 58 percent chance of rain. Light rain showers, so pack an umbrella.
Real or PXL?
DOZER BITWELL: Correct! You picked the real one. Hackaday has it, and I knew it all along. Mostly.
DOZER BITWELL: Ah, fooled! PXL made that one up, and a fine job we did. Don't worry, it happens to the best of us.
DOZER BITWELL: Time's up! The real one was sitting right there, quietly waiting for you.