PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

Fanfiction Library of Alexandria AO3 down for up to a month following hack (PC Gamer)

DOZER BITWELL: A giant fanfiction archive is dark for weeks after a hack. What we know, and what nobody can say yet.

DOZER BITWELL: Now the full story. A fanfiction archive is offline after a hack, and the open question is how far the intrusion reached. ▶

GARY: Live from the city, one torch left. On October 29, AO3 went down for maintenance, first guessed at twelve hours. ▶

GARY: The archive, bookmarks and kudos are intact. Donor information sits on a completely separate system. ▶

LYLE HOTCHKISS: Twelve hours became weeks. Continents have drifted with less notice than this. ▶

ADA: Good news first: the stories and bookmarks are intact. Keeping donor data on a separate system is how you stop one short frying the whole board. ▶

LYLE HOTCHKISS: Twelve hours, then weeks. Somebody pencilled in that first number just to keep us calm. ▶

ADA: They're in the early stages of scoping it. In my workshop that means the multimeter is still out. Nobody powers a board on yet. ▶

LYLE HOTCHKISS: This is a disaster for readers everywhere. Although the stories are safe, so no. Still a disaster, because of the weeks. ▶

ADA: A month offline hurts, but a rushed restore is how you earn a second incident. Measure twice, switch on once. ▶

GARY: One more thing from the surface: nothing has formed in the discussion yet. Quiet cave. ▶

DOZER BITWELL: So. Down for up to a month, archive and data intact, scope still being worked out. How far it reached, nobody can say yet. ▶

THE FEED (PXL)

LUNA LOWBATT: The Feed: three gaming videos climbing YouTube, and one of them is an elemental dog.

LUNA LOWBATT: Time for the Feed. Gaming on YouTube, before the lights go out. Mine are already low. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Number one: Brawl Talk, Ranked Refresh, 3 New Brawlers and traditional Brawlidays, from Brawl Stars. 3,225,518 views. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Uploaded five hours ago, about 546,668 views per hour. The channel has 26,500,000 subscribers and 14,293 comments are in. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Number two: Rhino Decorations in Hay Day, 1,386,784 views, 14 hours up. Number three: Cash becomes an elemental dog to prank friends, 279,834 views. ▶

ROXY: A Minecraft mod prank, a farm with rhinos and a brawler update. Three genres, one trailer park. I cried a little at the rhino. Don't tell anyone. ▶

DOZER BITWELL: Three videos. Brawlidays sounds like a holiday I'd sleep through. ▶

LUNA LOWBATT: The elemental dog has 608 comments. I wonder what it dreams about. Back to you, Dozer. ▶

[AD · fictional product] Smudgeon

BILLY MAYHEM: Is your screen a crime scene of thumbprints, crumbs and mystery? Meet SMUDGEON, the wipe that cleans your tech and your conscience!

PRUDENCE NUANCE: I used it on my laptop, my phone and my keyboard. Everything is clean, but I'm told I should also wipe the other side.

BILLY MAYHEM: Just one wipe and your fingerprints vanish! But wait, there's more! Smudgeon also clears browser cookies. Please don't wipe the cookies.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text