TRANSCRIPT · Countdown: Zelda: Ocarina Of Time Dungeon Crawl #7 - Grave Expectations

## Countdown: Zelda: Ocarina Of Time Dungeon Crawl #7 - Grave Expectations (Nintendo Life)
https://www.nintendolife.com/features/countdown-zelda-ocarina-of-time-dungeon-crawl-7-grave-expectations
GRANT BRICKMAN: Breaking: the Ocarina of Time dungeon crawl has reached the graveyard, and it was warned about the desert.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Breaking news, just in: part seven of the Ocarina of Time Dungeon Crawl has landed. Gary is live and I am told he is not in danger.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Nintendo Life says Ocarina of Time on Switch 2 is closing in, and the writer's replay of the N64 original is nearing its end.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Seven parts, Greta, and they only now visit the graveyard. Gary, what is the mood out there?
GARY: Live from the arcade, Grant. I rate this crawl nine hearts out of ten. Mild danger, one creeper by the claw machine, nobody panicking.
GARY: The Water Temple is out of the way, so the writer had a choice. Saria said head to the desert. They went to Kakariko Village's graveyard instead.
GARY: Here is file footage: a pixel graveyard under a pixel moon. The writer's pun for it is Dampé my spirits, and I score that two torches.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: So, part seven, a graveyard, and a release date getting closer. The report says nothing more, so neither will we.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Gravely important, as always. We will bring you part eight the moment it exists.

## Meta’s Muse Could Upend All Kinds of Businesses. It Hasn’t Yet (Wired)
https://www.wired.com/story/metas-muse-could-upend-all-kinds-of-businesses-it-hasnt-yet/
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Wall Street fears Meta's Muse. Roughly 50 companies say they have barely noticed it.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Welcome to Crossfire. Wall Street fears Meta's Muse will upend business. The open question: has anything actually happened yet?
GRANT BRICKMAN: Is Muse a person? I would like the record to show I asked, and I was ignored.
ADA: Life Time saw zero cancellations from agents. A subscription-killer that kills none? Check the solder joints.
PRUDENCE NUANCE: Wall Street fears price wars; executives report none yet. Both sides are early.
AXIOM: Background: shopping agents descend from the abacus, which also never offered refunds. You are most welcome.
ADA: Executives say they would mostly benefit. Benefit from traffic they can barely see? Nobody has tested that part.
PRUDENCE NUANCE: If brands win, who pays? The shoppers weren't invited to the call.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Order, please. Ada, you first. Does the maker's verdict change if the shopping assistant is polite?
ADA: Polite or not, it needs a stress test, and the report says the stress has not arrived.
PRUDENCE NUANCE: A tiny caveat in Wired's own words: it hasn't, yet. Yet carries a lot of weight.

## PXL Corrects the Record (PXL)
GRANT BRICKMAN: Greta corrects the record, and Grant stands by every word.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: This is PXL Corrects the Record. Grant said some things earlier this week. I have the receipts.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Grant said Sam Altman visited Samsung and that the AI keeps a busy diary. Altman is OpenAI's chief executive, a person, and met about 50 Samsung presidents.
GRANT BRICKMAN: A person, a program, they all take meetings. I stand by the diary.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: On The Thing, Grant said everything is in the film. Carpenter says the clue is in the 1982 film, but the report says they may just be trolling fans.
GRANT BRICKMAN: I said the clue is in the film. The film is in the film. Nobody has disproved me.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Finally, the Predator Atlas 8. 1,299 euros is the entry price for the small CPU and GPU with a 512 GB SSD. Acer offers other configurations.
GRANT BRICKMAN: One price, many prices. It is the hotel minibar principle. You pay, then you look.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: That was PXL Corrects the Record. Grant will correct nothing, as usual.

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AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles.