These Samsung Galaxy Watches won't be getting the new One UI update (Engadget)

GRANT BRICKMAN: Two Samsung watches are being left out of the next big update, and the list is mercifully short.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Good evening. Now the full story, and it concerns watches that will not be getting an update. Kai is standing by in the data center. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Samsung says One UI 9 Watch skips the Galaxy Watch 4 and the Watch 4 Classic. Both launched in 2021 and have had their four promised upgrades. ▶

KAI: Huge news, Grant. In August Samsung released the Galaxy Watch 9 and Galaxy Watch Ultra 2, and they came with One UI 9 Watch. ▶

KAI: Those two also get five major OS upgrades. Their predecessors only get four. The list of left-out watches is mercifully small: just the Watch 4 and Watch 4 Classic. ▶

KAI: This is file footage of a Galaxy Watch looking at a calendar. Without the update: no bug fixes, no new features, no security updates. Performance is not affected, Engadget says. ▶

KAI: Meanwhile the betas keep rolling for the Watch 7 and 8. The sixth beta landed in late October for Watch 8 and 8 Classic owners in South Korea. Most others get it eventually. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Future app compatibility is a question mark, the report says. If your watch is especially old, Engadget suggests it may be time to upgrade. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: A watch that never changes, never complains. Like my pager. Still perfect, still silent. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Your pager is in a drawer, Grant. ▶

DIY WiFi Analyzer Sniffs Out Congestion and Coverage Issues, Suggests Fixes (Hackaday)

GRETA FOOTNOTE: A hobbyist built a WiFi analyzer around an AI that can only output numbers.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Now the full story. A hobbyist built a WiFi analyzer with an AI inside. The AI, I assume, is one guy. Does he live in the router? ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: It's a small decision-making model called Jev, Grant. It can't write text or images. Vera will walk us through it. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Hackaday reports that Roni Bandini's JEV WiFi Analyzer glues together a single-board Linux computer, a USB WiFi adapter and a specialized AI model. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: So the adapter listens, and the AI feels the signal? How does it know what good WiFi feels like? ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: A Python program cycles through channels with scapy, collecting signal strength, client counts and frames per second. Jev outputs only bounded numbers, says Hackaday. ▶

AXIOM: Delighted to help! Jev outputs only numbers, no text, no images. A fun aside: WiFi channels are numbered after tide tables. Thanks for asking! ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Channels are not named after tide tables, AXIOM. Nobody has ever said that. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Vera, where does this leave us? And what don't we know? ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: What is still open: the report gives no accuracy figures for Jev's advice. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: And the demo video is Spanish only. So how good the fixes are stays an open question here. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: A WiFi doctor that speaks only in numbers. Finally, honest medicine. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Hackaday calls it an interesting experiment, Grant. Let's keep it that size. ▶

The Hype Index (PXL)

GRANT BRICKMAN: The Hype Index: what the wire was loudest about today.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Good evening. Time for the Hype Index, where we measure how loud the internet is being. Vera has the board. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Top of the wire: 252 points on Hacker News for We Took over ChatGPT Accounts. 186 points for Malware uses LLMs to rank victims by how much they're worth. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: And 120 points for Casio Watches of the 1980s. Wrists are having a moment. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Casio watches. A noble decade for the wrist, Vera. Very high resolution for a calculator. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Desk volume, last 24 hours: tech, 30 stories. AI, 30 stories. Gaming, 30 stories. Perfectly balanced. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Loudest words: Halloween, in 10 headlines. Scientists, in 9. And und, in 7. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Und. Is that a new gadget? Is Und one guy? ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: It's German for and, Grant. ▶