TRANSCRIPT · Sir Isaac Newton Would Love This Portable DIY Vis Spectrometer

## Sir Isaac Newton Would Love This Portable DIY Vis Spectrometer (Hackster.io)
https://www.hackster.io/news/sir-isaac-newton-would-love-this-portable-diy-vis-spectrometer-572c4477d8e9
GRANT BRICKMAN: A homemade spectrometer, Newton's ghost, and a panel that cannot agree on a single colour.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good evening. For viewers just joining: we first told you about this one this afternoon. A homemade spectrometer. Lyle, Gary, the floor is yours.
LYLE HOTCHKISS: A box that splits light? Next to this, the Hubble is a torch and the Large Hadron Collider is a toaster. Newton would weep into a teacup.
GARY: Prism in, rainbow out. It's the colour skill tree, unlocked. I give it four crafting tables out of five. No lava anywhere, which I appreciate.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: For the record: a vis spectrometer measures how intense each visible wavelength is. Curious Scientist built this portable one.
GRANT BRICKMAN: So it measures the mood of the light. A pocket rainbow with a ruler. Marvellous, Greta.
LYLE HOTCHKISS: It's a glorified prism, a party trick, a, hold on, it can tell you how much protein is in a sample? I take it all back. Hand me a prism.
GARY: Clean level design: light goes in, colours come out, nobody explodes. My only complaint is that I can't mine the rainbow.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The article says white light contains all colours, and Newton showed it can be separated and put back together.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Newton put white light back together. We can barely keep this panel together. Viewers, you decide. Vote now.

## John Carpenter Reveals Answer to The Thing’s Ending is Hiding in Plain Sight (SYFY Wire)
https://www.syfy.com/syfy-wire/john-carpenter-says-answer-to-the-thing-ending-right-there-in-the-movie
GRETA FOOTNOTE: John Carpenter says the clue to The Thing's ending is in the film. We asked the street.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Back to the Carpenter question. We first told you about it this morning, and the theories have not slept. Roxy is on the street.
ROXY: Thanks, Grant! John Carpenter says the answer to The Thing's ending is right there in the film. I'm asking the street. Reels out of five for your theory!
PASSERBY: Childs is human. Obviously. I've watched it so many times the tape is basically see-through.
PASSERBY: He says nobody has guessed the clue. So whatever I say is wrong, which honestly saves everyone time.
ROXY: Two reels for honesty. Carpenter did say every idea people have is not the right one. Ouch. Next!
PASSERBY: He's trolling us. Nearly five decades of trolling. Honestly, respect.
PASSERBY: The clue's in the movie. So I'll watch it again. I suspect that's exactly what he wants.
GRANT BRICKMAN: A clue in plain sight. In my day, we hid things in plain sight too. Mostly the weather map.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Clue or troll, we won't know unless somebody guesses it. Carpenter isn't telling.

## Pixels in Brief (PXL)
GRANT BRICKMAN: Three quick ones: a GPU powers on, a WiFi analyzer sniffs, and GTA 5 shows its age.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Quick round. GamesRadar says GTA 5's realism was already showing its age 13 years ago. Rockstar had to up its game.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Bolt Graphics powered on its Zeus test chip, no functional issues. Volume production is not expected until 2028.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Roni Bandini's JEV WiFi Analyzer pairs a Linux board, a USB adapter and an AI model. Your router is being judged.

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GRETA FOOTNOTE: Your keyboard has seen things. Crumbs, coffee, a small amount of regret. Tonight's tip: wipe it down before it files a complaint.
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GRETA FOOTNOTE: Clean keys, calm hands, fewer mystery crumbs in the spacebar. Now you know.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles.