Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Nintendo has shadow dropped a Direct, and it is all about Pikmin Day. Yes, Pikmin Day.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good afternoon. Now the full story: Nintendo has shadow dropped a presentation, and it is for Pikmin Day. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: As of this year, Nintendo officially calls the first of November Pikmin Day. Three ones, like three Pikmin. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Three ones. Teletext page one-one-one never got a holiday. I'm not bitter. ▶
GARY: Live at the convention hall. A surprise shadow drop, no warning, like nightfall in survival mode. Full health bar, though. ▶
GARY: Nintendo Life says it doesn't really get the three ones thing, but yay, Pikmin. I rate that attitude very high. ▶
GARY: File footage: a presenter in front of a big logo, announcing games to a very calm audience. This is what a Direct looks like. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The report doesn't say what is in the presentation, so we can't tell you either. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Then we'll find out together. Pikmin Day. Three ones. Marvellous. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A 4,000-year-old wall in Morocco is rewriting what we knew about ancient North Africa.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Now the full story. In the hills of north-west Morocco, researchers have found a wall that is changing the picture of ancient North Africa. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: At a site called Oued Beht, overlooking the river it is named after, excavations found a substantial built structure, probably defensive. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: It dates to around 4,000 to 3,500 years ago. The new digs took place in 2023, and the authors took part in them. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Four thousand years old. Older than our 1987 weather map, and that one has also been wrong about the coast. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: It is the earliest known large-scale construction of a probably defensive nature in north Africa beyond the Nile Valley. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Earlier work found what is likely the earliest and largest agricultural complex in Africa outside the Nile Valley, from around 5,400 to 4,900 years ago. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Vera, so what was the wall keeping out? ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: The article says that is not known exactly. The structures likely relate to growing competition over land and resources. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: The authors say the findings point to sophisticated societies, linked into wider Mediterranean networks. Analysis: more digging will tell us the rest. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: A wall, a river, and a mystery. Four thousand years and nobody left a note. Typical. ▶
The Gallery [FICTION]
GRANT BRICKMAN: A quick look into the control room, where nothing is under control.
DIRECTOR MARGE: Stand by, everyone. Where is the pigeon? Tell me where the pigeon is.
PASSERBY: It's sitting on Camera 2, Marge. It looks very comfortable.
DIRECTOR MARGE: Then cut away from Camera 2. Whichever button that is, press it now.
PASSERBY: I pressed the one with the coffee sticker. The tally lights are all a bit confused.
DIRECTOR MARGE: That is the coffee machine. We just aired Red Barrels' co-founder is just as confused as we are as to why no one's tried to replicate Outlast's success.
PASSERBY: Understood. Is red good or bad?
[AD · fictional product] Gleamish
BILLY MAYHEM: Is your keyboard a crumb museum? Is your screen a fingerprint gallery? Meet GLEAMISH, the cleaning gel for every device you own!
PRUDENCE NUANCE: I tried it on my phone. It was cleaner and, on the other hand, I miss the old smudges a little.
BILLY MAYHEM: Gleamish picks up crumbs, dust and regret! But wait, there's more! It also sticks to the cat, so use it carefully!
Weather
STORMY BYTES: Stormy Bytes here. A shadow drop front has moved in over the gaming coast, and the hype pressure is rising fast.
STORMY BYTES: Expect scattered excitement around the first of November, with a high chance of three ones appearing in every headline.
STORMY BYTES: The long range outlook is unclear, because nobody has told us what is in the presentation. Bring a jacket and a small leaf.
Real or PXL?
GRANT BRICKMAN: Correct! The real one. PXL made up the other, and frankly it was a very good one.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Fooled! That one came from our own writers' room. Real science is stranger, and I say that with total confidence.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Time's up! The clock waits for no anchor, and neither does this quiz.