PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

Crimson Desert players share money making tips after the new DLC added a ridiculously expensive ship (GamesRadar)

GRANT BRICKMAN: A pirate ship in Crimson Desert costs 6 million camp funds, and players are already swapping tips to afford it.

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Crimson Desert's Charting the Unknown DLC added ships. The biggest costs 6 million in camp funds. Lyle, you first. ▶

LYLE HOTCHKISS: Six million camp funds. Next to that, the humble 2,000 rowboat is a pebble beside Jupiter. ▶

PRUDENCE NUANCE: Nobody asked the player who settled for the 2,000 rowboat and is perfectly content. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The small ship is 40,000 and the medium one 1.2 million. Players are turning to other players for money-making tips. ▶

LYLE HOTCHKISS: Who even has six million lying around? Somebody is hoarding camp funds, and the cheap rowboat is the bait. ▶

PRUDENCE NUANCE: I'd say sixty-one percent whim, thirty-nine percent wanting a very big boat. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: One Reddit thread title reads: I'm sorry 6 MILLION. Plenty of players are aghast, and plenty want to take the wheel. ▶

LYLE HOTCHKISS: It's a scandal, a robbery, an insult to every sailor! Actually, where do I queue for it? ▶

PRUDENCE NUANCE: Would Lyle be less outraged at five million, or just outraged in a smaller font? ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Neither of them budged, as usual. Vote on the poll, and the rowboat is still on sale. ▶

What Could Split a Black Hole in Two? (Universe Today)

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Scientists calculate a black hole could split in two, and Nova asked the street what they make of it.

GRANT BRICKMAN: We told you about the splitting black hole earlier today. For viewers just joining, Nova took it to the street. ▶

NOVA: Black holes colliding is old news. Splitting is the new idea. Does anyone out here buy it? Let's ask! ▶

PASSERBY: I thought black holes only swallowed things. Splitting sounds like my old band. ▶

PASSERBY: The trouser shape is what I can't shake. Does the event horizon get legs now? ▶

NOVA: Sannino says the two halves must separate, and the window largely closes again, except possibly for near maximum spin. ▶

PASSERBY: Largely closes again? So it's a maybe. My whole life is a maybe. ▶

PASSERBY: Everyone said no force could break one apart, and a team went and calculated it anyway. Love that. ▶

NOVA: A universe this huge and the answer sits in the fine print: close to maximum rotation. Incredible! ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: To be clear, this is a set of calculations by the team, not an observation. Back to you, Grant. ▶

The Spin Room (PXL)

GRANT BRICKMAN: Two outlets, one tampered extension, and a spin score of 67.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Welcome to the Spin Room, where outlets cover one event and I decide who is right. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: A tampered Claude Code extension sat in Cursor's marketplace for about 11 hours on Thursday 29 October. It reached up to 5,000 users. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The bad versions tried to plant an SSH backdoor, Cursor said. Cursor says Anthropic did not develop the code. Neither says how the attacker got in. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: The Next Web: Anthropic denies breach as tampered Claude Code extension hits Cursor users. Denies! That is a confession with extra steps. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The Register: Anthropic: That Claude Code extension compromise… couldn't be us. It leads with the wink. The Next Web leads with the denial and the users. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The Next Web also says a security firm found it went out through Anthropic's official account. The Register leans on Anthropic's statement. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The spin score is 67 out of 100. The two outlets share few words. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: I'm with The Register. Nobody writes couldn't be us with three dots unless they're hiding something. Case closed. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Grant, nobody has said how the attacker got access. Nothing is closed. ▶

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Weather

STORMY BYTES: London first: 13 degrees, clear sky, wind 8 km/h. Today's high 14, low 10, rain chance 0 percent. Calm hype, calm sky.

STORMY BYTES: Paris: 12 degrees and mainly clear, wind 10 km/h. High 15, low 7, rain chance 0 percent. Crisp, like a fresh baguette.

STORMY BYTES: Berlin: 12 degrees, overcast, wind 9 km/h. High 12, low 5, light rain in the outlook though the chance reads 0 percent. The map is confused too.

STORMY BYTES: Madrid: 17 degrees, clear sky, wind just 3 km/h. High 21, low 9, rain chance 0 percent. Sunglasses weather.

STORMY BYTES: Rome: 20 degrees, mainly clear, wind 7 km/h. High 21, low 10, rain chance 3 percent. A tiny drizzle rumour, nothing more.

Real or PXL?

GRANT BRICKMAN: Correct! The real one. PXL made up the other, and I'd have caught it blindfolded.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Ha! A fake, made up right here at PXL. Frankly, it was convincing, and I would've fallen for it too.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Time's up! The answer is still in the building, and so is the fake.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text