Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Breaking: the original Highlander is free to stream right now, with a Henry Cavill remake on the way.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning, and this just landed. Highlander is being remade with Henry Cavill, and the 1986 original is free to watch right now. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: GameStar reports the original is in the ARD Mediathek at no cost. Cavill takes over the role from Christopher Lambert. Gary is at the arcade. ▶
GARY: Live from the arcade. Highlander, 1986. Four lives out of five, and the fifth got cut off. Please do not ask how. ▶
GARY: On screen is the trailer for the original. Swords, a lot of dramatic lighting, and the line about there being only one. That is a single-player mode. ▶
GARY: Warning from the Mediathek: not suitable under 16, because of bloody fights and beheadings. That is a boss fight difficulty setting. ▶
GARY: You need an account to confirm your age. Also, the stream only plays from 22:00, like a TV broadcast. Dusk spawn, basically. ▶
GARY: The German version is there until 2 November 2026. After that the level despawns. Save your progress, which here means watching it. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Ten at night, free of charge. Marvelous. I shall set the VCR timer, and this time I will not tape over the weather. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The report says the remake will take a while. So there is plenty of time to watch the original first. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Salesforce reportedly buys military logistics startup Rune for $375 million.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: For viewers just joining: we first told you about this early this morning. Salesforce reportedly buys Rune for $375 million in cash and stock. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Rune builds AI software to predict US military supply needs. Missionforce, Salesforce's defense unit, grew 80% year over year. Roxy, your review? ▶
ROXY: Three reels out of five. Salesforce goes to war, the sequel nobody storyboarded. Great logistics, thin on explosions. ▶
PRUDENCE NUANCE: Up from $127 million last year, yet small beside a $5.6 billion Army contract. Depends on your ruler. ▶
ROXY: Fine ensemble cast: Andreessen Horowitz, Point72, IQT. Thirty million raised. Two reels for the script, which is mostly spreadsheets. ▶
PRUDENCE NUANCE: The troops whose supplies get predicted? The report doesn't mention asking them. ▶
ROXY: It's a franchise now. Fin, formerly Intercom, Qualified, and Rune. A cinematic universe, with receipts. ▶
PRUDENCE NUANCE: Franchise, or errands? The headline just says the spree continues. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The poll is on your screen. Smart move or not, the report says the deal is still only reported. ▶
The Hype Index (PXL)
GRANT BRICKMAN: The Hype Index: who is loudest on the wire today.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Time for the Hype Index, our market report on hype. Vera has the big board, and I have a sharpened pencil. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Top of the wire. 212 points on Hacker News for Tell HN: Scribd Breached. 193 for the Patrick Stewart TNG episode guessing game. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Third place: Switch Lowering in GCC, 58 points. A compiler post, standing proudly on the podium. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: So a breach, a tribute and a compiler walk into a board. Nobody can say which one is the punchline. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Desk volume, last 24 hours. Tech, 30 stories. AI, 30 stories. Gaming, 30 stories. A very even hype budget. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Perfectly balanced, as all things should be. Three desks, three thirties. I assume somebody planned that. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Loudest words. DER, 10 headlines. DATA, 9 headlines. UND, 8 headlines. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The loudest words today are the and and, in German. Hype is mostly grammar. That's the Index. ▶
[AD · fictional product] Tumbleplug
BILLY MAYHEM: Is your lamp too easy to switch off? Meet TUMBLEPLUG, the smart plug that turns things off after only one app and one other app!
BILLY MAYHEM: Watch! One tap turns the lamp off, the toaster on, and the fridge into a very long weekend. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE: it also asks for a firmware update!
PRUDENCE NUANCE: I was skeptical. On one hand, the lamp is brilliant. On the other, I still can't find where the fridge went.
Weather
STORMY BYTES: London first: 12 degrees now, mainly clear, wind 8 kilometres an hour. High 14, low 10, rain chance 0 percent. Overcast, but with confidence.
STORMY BYTES: Paris: 11 degrees, mainly clear, wind 10 kilometres an hour. Today's high 15, low 7, chance of rain 0 percent. Quite pleasant, very Paris.
STORMY BYTES: Berlin: 11 degrees, overcast, wind 8 kilometres an hour. High 12, low 6. Light rain in the forecast, yet rain chance 0 percent. The sky and the spreadsheet disagree.
STORMY BYTES: Madrid: 16 degrees, clear sky, wind only 4 kilometres an hour. High 21, low 9, rain chance 0 percent. Hype level, sunny.
STORMY BYTES: Rome: 18 degrees, mainly clear, wind 8 kilometres an hour. High 21, low 10, rain chance 3 percent, partly cloudy. A tiny, tiny cloud of drama.
Real or PXL?
GRANT BRICKMAN: Real! Sharp eyes. The other one came out of our writers room, and honestly, it was close.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Ah! PXL made that one up, a sneaky bit of editing. The real one was the Slack archives. Do not feel bad.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Time is up! One of those was real and one was ours. The writers are not telling.