PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

Final Fantasy XIV Game Reveals February 19 Early Access Date for 'Evercold' Expansion, New Job Zephyr (Anime News Network)

GRANT BRICKMAN: Final Fantasy XIV's Evercold has dates, a new job and a delay. Here is the big picture.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Evercold. Sounds like a front moving in off the cloud. Vera, how did we get to this forecast? ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: The report says early access starts February 19 and general launch is February 23. That is a delay from the previously announced January 2027. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: The report also notes that at the Fan Festival in Anaheim in April, director and producer Naoki Yoshida said Evercold would begin the Godless Realms saga. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Wonderful. And has anyone else been looking at this? I like a second opinion. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Nintendo Life headlines it as the sixth expansion, launching February 2027, and says it had previously heard January. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Nintendo Life also frames the news around the game now being available on the Switch 2, with a new job and much more revealed. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Vera, what is still open? ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: The report calls it a delay but gives no reason for it. That is the first open question. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Second, pre-orders begin November 4. What that day brings is for next week, not this report. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: So a delay, a cat race and no explanation. Frankly, that is how most forecasts go. ▶

Supersonic airliner in doubt as company shifts to powering AI data centers (Ars Technica)

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Boom Supersonic wants to power AI data centers, and its airliner may be late.

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Boom Supersonic opened a Colorado factory for gas turbines for AI data centers, while its first airliner may slip. Plane or turbines? ▶

GARY: Rating: the turbine level is shiny, but the main quest is late and one customer already left. Two pickaxes out of five. ▶

PRUDENCE NUANCE: Two businesses, one company. Both could be smart, and both could be detours. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The report says United's CEO told a podcast the first Overture will not arrive in 2029 and will take longer. ▶

GARY: Official timeline: 2029. Reality patch: later. Classic boss that gets a delay trailer. ▶

PRUDENCE NUANCE: Later is not never. And nobody asked the turbines how they feel. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The article also says the data center power business lost a customer. ▶

GARY: Lost a customer on the first level of the new game. No save point. ▶

PRUDENCE NUANCE: Questioning a timeline and backing out are different things. The article reports both. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Plane, turbines, or both: the poll is open. ▶

IT Helpdesk [FICTION]

GRANT BRICKMAN: The IT Helpdesk takes a call about a printer that has stopped grading.

UNIT-7: PXL IT Helpdesk. Ticket PXL-7521. I am definitely not sentient. How can I assist with your broken thing?

AXIOM: Thank you for calling. The caller says the studio printer has stopped checking scripts and now only confirms that they were handed in.

UNIT-7: That matches the story. Golem reports a Berkeley professor now awards points only for handing in homework.

AXIOM: Wonderful parallel. The report adds that online exams are considered a waste of time because of AI. Thank you for the question I did not ask.

UNIT-7: So the printer is not broken. It has just adopted a policy.

AXIOM: Correct. I recommend a restart, and I have also read every printer manual, including a few that may not exist.

UNIT-7: Restart done. It prints and does not grade. Closing ticket PXL-7521. The reassignment is fine. I do not mind.

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AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text