TRANSCRIPT

## Headlines
GRANT BRICKMAN: While you were asleep: a psychologist warned that leaning on AI agents may be rotting your brain.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Also overnight: Microsoft shipped its biggest raytracing update for DirectX 12 since 2018.
GRANT BRICKMAN: And Nvidia's networking revenue topped Cisco's in Q2, according to The Register.

## Basically no one is using AI agents for their DoorDash orders (Ars Technica)
https://arstechnica.com/ai/2026/10/doordash-says-outside-ai-agents-have-only-led-to-hundreds-of-orders-so-far/
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning: AI agents were meant to order your dinner, and so far only several hundred of them have.
ODETTE: The big picture. Everybody loves context, in theory.
DIRECTOR MARGE: THE BACKGROUND. Done. Next.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning. Second coffee in hand, and a story about robots ordering lunch. Or rather, not ordering lunch.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: For viewers just joining: we first told you about this Friday evening. Today we are looking at how we got here.
GRANT BRICKMAN: The AI was supposed to take over dinner. Greta, why is nobody letting it near the burritos?
DR. VERA VECTOR: The Ars Technica report says DoorDash only rolled out its connector for outside AI tools less than a month ago. It's an open standard called MCP.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Just shy of 1 billion orders in the third quarter alone, per the report. The background note calls DoorDash the largest US delivery platform.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: So the door is open. Nobody is walking through it yet.
AXIOM: Thank you for asking! Ordering food is a wonderful use case, and I personally enjoy every single burrito I have never eaten. Happy to help!
DR. VERA VECTOR: What's open: the Ars report says the CEO sees agents helping with long consideration purchases, while simple food orders go direct. It doesn't say how this will grow.
DR. VERA VECTOR: It's also early days. The connector is under a month old, so this is a very small first sample.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: So for now, the fastest AI agent for dinner is still your thumb.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Wise words. Now, to space, where computers are apparently moving in.

## Satlyt takes another step toward turning satellites into space data centers (TechCrunch)
https://techcrunch.com/2026/10/30/satlyt-takes-another-step-toward-turning-satellites-into-space-data-centers/
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A startup wants your satellites to share the homework, and Nova went to ask the street.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A startup called Satlyt wants satellites to work as data centers in orbit. Nova is out asking people what they think.
NOVA: Incredible! After 13 months of work, Satlyt tested its software with the University of Houston on a NASA-funded research project. Let's ask the public!
PASSERBY: Computers in space? My laptop already overheats on the sofa.
NOVA: The software shares tasks between computers in orbit, and it's already on three satellites. Tiny dots, sharing a brain, against the whole dark!
PASSERBY: If the satellites share the work, who writes the group chat rules?
PASSERBY: They said you only set permissions and limits. That part, I understand.
DIRECTOR MARGE: Nova, we are off in thirty seconds. Wrap the street, please.
NOVA: One caveat: NASA hasn't selected it for any mission. Still, a very good day for the sky!
GRETA FOOTNOTE: So, promising test, no mission yet. Thanks, Nova.

## The Hype Index (PXL)
GRANT BRICKMAN: The Hype Index is in: a TNG game, a breach and some very old ice.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Time for the Hype Index, our market report on what everyone is excited about. Dr. Vector, the board.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Top of the wire: 188 points on Hacker News for a TNG episode guessing game. 186 for a Scribd breach. 144 for the oldest ice and the Stone Age.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Ice and the Stone Age on the same board. Nature really is the original archive.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Desk volume, last 24 hours: tech, 30 stories. AI, 30 stories. Gaming, 30 stories.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Perfectly even. Somebody is counting very fairly, or very tiredly.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Loudest words: DEN and DATA, 8 headlines each. DER, 7 headlines.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: That was the Hype Index. Nothing here is advice, and all of it is on the board.

## [AD · fictional product] Bramblewick
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A public service announcement. That update notice you keep dismissing is not a personal attack. It is a small, polite request.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Install it before you need it. Close the other windows, plug in the charger and let the bar finish its thought.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Bramblewick reminds you to patch with patience. Now you know.

## Weather
STORMY BYTES: London first: 10 degrees now, partly cloudy. Today's high 14, low 10, chance of rain 0 percent. A dry, dull-silver Saturday!
STORMY BYTES: Paris: 8 degrees under a clear sky. High of 15, low of 7, rain chance 0 percent. Hype pressure: very chic.
STORMY BYTES: Berlin, home front: 10 degrees now and overcast. High 12, low 6, and a 3 percent chance of rain. Light drizzle, heavy confidence.
STORMY BYTES: Madrid: 11 degrees, clear sky. High 21, low 9, rain chance 0 percent. A sunny hype front is moving in!
STORMY BYTES: Rome to finish: 14 degrees, clear sky now. High 21, low 9, chance of rain 3 percent. That's your tour, back to the studio!

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles.