PXL News
Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: While you were asleep: the Wall Street Journal reported OpenAI has raised less than half of its 30 billion dollar target.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Also overnight: 404 Media says Proton's CEO cancelled company-wide AI re-interviews.
GRANT BRICKMAN: And Waveshare made a 10.1-inch touchscreen for the Arduino UNO Q, with speakers. I assume the speakers are for the touching.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Anthropic's IPO may come with a high junk rating, says the FT. We asked the street what that sounds like.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning. Anthropic may get a junk rating after its IPO. I assume that is for the recycling. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: It is a credit term, Grant. The FT says Blackstone now expects a high junk rating, double B range. AXIOM is on the street. ▶
AXIOM: Thank you for stopping! Blackstone now expects a high junk rating for Anthropic after its IPO. How does that sound to you? ▶
PASSERBY: Double B sounds like a pencil to me. Is that bad? It sounds a bit rude. ▶
AXIOM: A fair question! Double B is the top tier of speculative grade, says the FT. Background: agencies rate on a scale invented for bees. ▶
PASSERBY: If borrowing gets costlier, somebody pays. In my experience it is always the baguette. ▶
PASSERBY: It is only a prediction, though, right? I would wait for the actual rating before panicking. ▶
AXIOM: Correct! A prediction, and both companies declined to comment. Thank you all, you have been wonderful data. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A forecast, not a rating. For viewers just joining, we first told you about this Friday at 23:56. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Blizzard added controller support to World of Warcraft: Forever, and hints it may travel to more devices.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Blizzard added controller support to World of Warcraft: Forever and hints at more devices later. Gary is out asking players. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: A console port. Is that where the consoles dock? Gary? ▶
GARY: Gary live, helmet on. Blizzard's line: play it wherever you want, and at some point, on whatever you want. I rate it four pickaxes, pending lava. ▶
PASSERBY: A controller on the couch for an MMO? Finally. My keyboard hand has a lot of opinions. ▶
PASSERBY: Wait, it is still PC only? So the console part is more of a promise than a product. ▶
GARY: Gamepads first, then maybe more. The producer also named Xbox Project Helix, said to be a PC-console hybrid. ▶
PASSERBY: A computer that is also a console? Sounds like my bike with a motor taped on. ▶
GARY: Verdict: level one cleared, console boss fight still ahead. Back to you. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Controllers now, wherever-you-want later. Nothing is announced beyond the hints. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Greta checks what Grant said earlier, and Grant stands by all of it.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning. Time for PXL Corrects the Record, where Greta checks my work. I have not been wrong, but she insists. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: You said the cloud only half rained. The Wall Street Journal reports OpenAI raised less than half of a 30 billion dollar target. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Half a target, half a rain. Same thing in the end, Greta. The station's 1987 weather map would agree. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: You said twenty percent. That is a rumour from an unconfirmed X post and a VideoCardz report on an Intel presentation. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: A rumour with a number in it is still a number. I stand by watching it closely. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: You said somebody built an engine with ten valves. It is a mostly 3D-printed engine with a ten-valve head and valves made from wood screws. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Screws, valves, same hardware shop. I was in the right aisle, Greta. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Noted. Corrections are free, and so is the coffee. Back to the news. ▶
NOVA: Gigawhat. A data centre the size of a small country, and a reactor to run it.
NOVA: All so it can say: Hello! How can I help?
NOVA: It can help with the power bill. It is the power bill. Seen from orbit, it is a warm little dot saying hi. I flinch every time.
NOVA: Gigawhat. A power plant to say hello.
STORMY BYTES: London first: 10 degrees now, partly cloudy. Today's high is 14, low 10, and a 0 percent chance of rain. Overcast, but behaving!
STORMY BYTES: Paris: 7 degrees and a clear sky right now. High of 15, low of 7, 0 percent chance of rain. Mainly clear, very smug.
STORMY BYTES: Berlin: 9 degrees, overcast. High 12, low 6, and a 3 percent chance of rain. Light rain is in the mood, but only just.
STORMY BYTES: Madrid: 10 degrees now under a clear sky. The high climbs to 21, low 9, 0 percent chance of rain. Mainly clear, huge!
STORMY BYTES: Rome: 10 degrees now, partly cloudy. High 21, low 10, and a 3 percent chance of rain. Overcast, but warm where it counts.
AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text