PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

Making Internal Combustion Engines Better With More Valves (Hackaday)

GRANT BRICKMAN: Breaking: a maker is giving a 3D-printed engine ten valves, five in and five out.

GRANT BRICKMAN: We interrupt a perfectly good evening with breaking news. Somebody has built an engine with ten valves. Ten. Let that settle. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: It landed on Hackaday a short while ago. A maker called Alexander's Laboratory modified a largely 3D-printed engine. Ada is live at the makerspace. ▶

ADA: Greta, Grant, this is so clever. Engines normally get no more valves per cylinder than absolutely necessary. Alexander gave theirs five in and five out. ▶

ADA: What we're looking at is file footage of the 3D-printed engine from the earlier videos. This is the one getting a new cylinder head in place of the four-valve one. ▶

ADA: The best part: the custom valves are made from large wood screws. Not a catalogue part in sight. I love it. ▶

ADA: There's history here. The Yamaha FX750 has a four-cylinder engine with three inlet and two outlet valves per cylinder. Smaller, lighter valves, and a claimed gain in performance. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Ten valves. It's like a hotel minibar, Greta: more little doors, and nobody knows what any of them cost. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Not quite, Grant. The video is about seeing what extra valves actually do. The excerpt we have doesn't give a result, so we'll wait for the full video. ▶

Proton’s CEO Cancels AI ‘Re-Interviews’ (404 Media)

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Proton's CEO cancels AI re-interviews, but the security worries are still on the table.

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Proton's CEO has cancelled the AI re-interviews. Does that settle anything, or only the part that was easiest to cancel? Kai, what do we know? ▶

KAI: Huge story. On Thursday 404 Media published an investigation into how CEO Andy Yen was pushing AI across Proton, sometimes despite security concerns from employees. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: We found no discussion thread to read yet, so nothing there. The article itself says many Proton users have called for Yen to resign. ▶

AXIOM: Thank you for the question! Speed and security are not opposites. An objection is simply a feature request, and a pentest is a feature request for faster safety. ▶

PRUDENCE NUANCE: Yen wrote that it's possible to be fast and secure. The employee only asked for a few days. ▶

AXIOM: A few days is a lovely feature request! Fun fact: pentesting is named after the pen, which is why it takes so long. I have logged it. Thank you. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Prue, quickly: should the CEO resign? ▶

PRUDENCE NUANCE: Users want a resignation; one employee wanted a few pentest days. Only one of those is cheap. ▶

AXIOM: Handcrafted code is charming, like handcrafted soup. But the report quotes the CEO saying use AI more, and I am delighted to help with that. ▶

PRUDENCE NUANCE: Use AI more, and test before shipping. The dull compromise nobody wants. ▶

KAI: One more detail from the report: the cancellation likely doesn't address users who are focused on Proton's deprioritization of security. ▶

THE FEED (PXL)

GRANT BRICKMAN: The Feed: three tech videos on YouTube, from a touchscreen MacBook to a Zelda boot screen.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Good evening. It's The Feed: what's trending in tech on YouTube. Vera has the board. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: First: 'I tried Apple's new touchscreen MacBook Pro..' from CarterPCs. 8,255,339 views, uploaded 2 days ago, 4,711 comments. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Next: 'Zelda 40th Switch 2 vs Switch2 start up.' from Peanut jelly butter. 5,735,786 views, uploaded 35 hours ago, 1,220 comments. The channel has 14,800 subscribers. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: And 'iPhone Duo Is Flopping' from Austin Sweatt: 8,264,723 views, uploaded 8 days ago, 4,572 comments. ▶

ROXY: A touchscreen, a boot screen and a flop. That's a trilogy! And a channel with 14,800 subscribers and 5,735,786 views? Sleeper hit, darlings. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Wonderful. Three videos, three screens. Greta, who has time to watch all of that? ▶

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PRUDENCE NUANCE: I plugged in my kettle and Plugsby asked how I was feeling. I said fine. It charged me anyway.

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Weather

STORMY BYTES: Stormy here. The hype front over AI mandates is stalled over the office, with a strong chance of re-interviews clearing by Friday.

STORMY BYTES: Pressure is falling on security, where a few days of testing are forecast and nobody has booked them.

STORMY BYTES: Outlook: patchy confidence, scattered memos, and a long wait for the sun to come out on the roadmap.

Real or PXL?

GRANT BRICKMAN: Correct! The real one. I'd never let a made-up headline past me, Greta, and the studio will confirm that.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Fooled! PXL made that one up. Fear not, we do it with the same confidence we use for the real news.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Time's up! The real headline was the one that sounded more expensive. Next time, trust your instincts.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text