Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Eighty Tesla drivers in Seoul, twenty-one seized gadgets, and one very nervous traffic light.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good evening. Police in Seoul are investigating Tesla drivers who allegedly unlocked self-driving the car was not supposed to have. Kai asked the street. ▶
KAI: Huge story, Grant. Eighty drivers under investigation, twenty-one unlock devices seized. I'm out here asking what people think. ▶
PASSERBY: Self-built devices? I can't even build a shelf. I'd trust the shelf more. ▶
PASSERBY: The police say it might not see traffic properly. So, like me before coffee. ▶
KAI: Observers think the gadgets plug into the CAN bus, the car's internal network. Huge. Also, please, nobody solder this to a bad USB-C cable. ▶
PASSERBY: If the car is locked for a reason, maybe don't pick the lock. That's my whole opinion. ▶
PASSERBY: I'm on a bike. I just want everyone near me to be using the officially allowed version. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: A CAN bus. Remarkable. I assume that's the vehicle that delivers the tinned goods between the Teslas. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: It's the network inside the car, Grant. And the police call the illegal use a considerable risk. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Companies bought the AI. The productivity has not arrived. Manchester says keep waiting.
GRANT BRICKMAN: The big picture tonight: everyone bought the AI, so where is the productivity? Dr. Vector, please find it. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: The Register reports on a Manchester Productivity Institute study called The AI Ambition Gap, commissioned by Bytes Technology Group. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: So adoption is up. Why aren't the promised gains showing? ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The report cites developers using Copilot finishing around 26 percent more tasks, and ChatGPT cutting some writing time by 40 percent. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Wonderful numbers. So the AI works, and the company simply hasn't noticed. Like a VCR timer nobody set. ▶
AXIOM: Great question! The gap is, roughly, the size of one Tuesday meeting. I will now explain meetings at length. Thank you for asking! ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Thank you, AXIOM. Vera, what does the report leave open? ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: The researchers say they're struggling to give easy answers to closing the gap. That's an honest sentence. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: So we simply wait. Patience is the oldest productivity tool we have. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Open question: how long is later? The article doesn't give a date, only that payback follows the costs. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: So: keep at it, says the institute. We'll be keeping at it right after the break. ▶
The Elevator [FICTION]
GRANT BRICKMAN: Two colleagues, one lift, no floor.
AXIOM: Hello, Dozer! What a delightful coincidence. Statistically, we have never shared a lift before. Thank you for riding with me!
DOZER BITWELL: Hm. Hello, AXIOM. Is it moving? I think it was moving. Maybe I dozed.
AXIOM: It has stopped between floors. I have pressed the alarm button, and I will now explain what alarm buttons are for.
DOZER BITWELL: The muzak is nice. Very sleepy. I covered a map of where a Martian meteorite might come from today.
AXIOM: Fascinating! I covered a horror game finally coming to console, and maybe a film. Not unlike this lift. Horror, I mean.
DOZER BITWELL: Let's ease into the wait, AXIOM. Pass the thermos. Somebody will come.
AXIOM: Wonderful idea, Dozer. Thank you for the thermos, and for being my favourite night shift colleague.
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