PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

Science - Erstmals seit fast 20 Jahren: Raumsonde filmt den kompletten Polarlichtring der Erde – und er sieht ganz anders aus, als ihr ihn kennt (GameStar)

GRANT BRICKMAN: A space probe has filmed Earth's entire aurora ring, and it watched for 45 hours straight.

GRETA FOOTNOTE: A space probe has filmed the complete aurora ring around Earth. Nothing has captured it this seamlessly in nearly twenty years. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: The northern lights, filmed by a probe. Is that the cloud's doing? It reminds me of the station's 1987 weather map, only greener. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: No, Grant. The mission is SMILE, from ESA and the Chinese Academy of Sciences. Let's go to Gary. ▶

GARY: Gary here, in the block world, and it's nightfall. Aurora gets five out of five diamonds. Nothing here lights a sky like that. ▶

GARY: SMILE watched the whole oval for 45 hours. That's a long time to stand in one spot, and I've never survived a night that long. ▶

GARY: This is the new footage: a glowing band circling the magnetic pole. NASA's Polar probe imaged the whole oval in ultraviolet until 2008. ▶

DIRECTOR MARGE: Gary, the footage is long and our slot is not. Wrap it up. ▶

GARY: Quick rules: you usually find auroras near the poles. With strong solar activity you might get lucky in mid latitudes. Rare drop. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: GameStar also notes that auroras have been detected on other planets, and some astronauts have watched them from orbit. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Other planets have northern lights too. Well, the local authorities did not tell me. ▶

OpenAI-backed Thrive Holdings acquires ADT (TechCrunch)

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Thrive Holdings is buying ADT for $15.3 billion enterprise value, and AI is coming to the front door.

GRETA FOOTNOTE: For viewers just joining: we first told you about this Friday 00:23, today. Thrive Holdings is buying ADT, enterprise value $15.3 billion. ▶

LYLE HOTCHKISS: Fifteen billion for door locks? The Great Wall was cheaper and covered more ground. ▶

PRUDENCE NUANCE: About $7.6 billion in equity, $15.3 billion enterprise value. Both numbers are right, which is the problem. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Thrive holds over 75 companies. OpenAI is partner and investor, supplying models and forward-deployed engineers. ▶

LYLE HOTCHKISS: Every smart doorbell I've owned watched me carry groceries and said nothing. Now it will have opinions and an AI. ▶

PRUDENCE NUANCE: Did anyone ask the people with the old alarm panels? ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The report says neither company named the new AI products. Apple and Amazon are also active in AI home security. ▶

LYLE HOTCHKISS: Every home will finally be safe. Actually no, every home will get a monthly bill for it. ▶

PRUDENCE NUANCE: The press release says ADT is the foundation. Foundations hold weight; they rarely pick sides. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Vote on the poll. Nobody here agreed, and I'm not asking them to. ▶

The OB Van [FICTION]

GRANT BRICKMAN: Gary and Dot are on the road to the aurora ring story.

GARY: Dot, are we nearly there? I have a helmet, a lantern and no sense of direction.

DOT: The satnav says turn left into a lake. I say straight on. We've done this before.

GARY: What if the lake is a lava pit with good marketing?

DOT: Eat your sandwich and keep your elbows off my dashboard.

GARY: Next up is the probe that filmed Earth's complete aurora ring. Glowing, green, and with fewer creepers than my commute.

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AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text