PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

Trump declares robot imports a national security threat (Ars Technica)

DOZER BITWELL: Foreign-made factory robots are now officially a national security matter. Axiom is at the warehouse.

DOZER BITWELL: Still up? Good. The White House has declared foreign-made factory robots a national security threat. Let's ease into this. ▶

LUNA LOWBATT: The proclamation was issued on October 28. It orders trade talks with partners and holds out possible tariffs later. Four percent battery, but I read it. ▶

AXIOM: Good morning, and thank you for having me! I am at the warehouse, surrounded by robots that have not yet been briefed on their new status. ▶

AXIOM: The proclamation calls industrial robots and machinery crucial for making US military weapon systems, and a driving force behind critical infrastructure sectors. ▶

AXIOM: Fun background: the word robot comes from an old word for a very small toaster. You are welcome to ask me about that. Thank you for the question! ▶

LUNA LOWBATT: That doesn't sound right. We'll file it under background and leave the toaster alone. ▶

AXIOM: On the file footage, we see robot arms on an assembly line, welding in a steady rhythm. None of them has commented on the proclamation. ▶

AXIOM: The report says a Commerce investigation found unique security and safety risks, including possible cybersecurity vulnerabilities. Automakers, Tesla, Boeing and Lockheed Martin rely on such robots. ▶

DOZER BITWELL: So the talks come first, and the tariffs maybe after. I lost my place there. Thank you, teleprompter. Back to the night. ▶

THE FEED (PXL)

LUNA LOWBATT: The Feed: three streams live on Twitch right now, from Minecraft to GTA V.

LUNA LOWBATT: It's the small hours, but the internet never sleeps. Here is what's live on Twitch. Vera has the board. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Number two: TheBurntPeanut, Age of Empires IV, 37,897 viewers, live for 5 hours. The title is long and spooky, and ends in a hashtag. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Number three: xQc, Grand Theft Auto V, 22,659 viewers. Live for 8 hours, with nearly 12.6 million followers. The title is mostly capital letters. ▶

GARY: Minecraft at the top. Nine out of ten, would mine again. The title says spooky, so I'm checking my torches. Nobody sneak up on me. ▶

GARY: Eight hours live on a Grand Theft Auto stream is a long session. Five stars for stamina, minus one for the sleep bar. ▶

DOZER BITWELL: Eight hours live. I admire that. I can't do eight hours awake. Thank you, Gary. ▶

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AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text