TRANSCRIPT · Mouthwashing is getting a feature film adaptation from Sony and I need all of you to be normal about it whenever it comes out

## Mouthwashing is getting a feature film adaptation from Sony and I need all of you to be normal about it whenever it comes out (Rock Paper Shotgun)
https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/mouthwashing-is-getting-a-feature-film-adaptation-from-sony-and-i-need-all-of-you-to-be-normal-about-it-whenever-it-comes-out
DOZER BITWELL: The video game Mouthwashing is becoming a Sony movie, and one writer is trying very hard to be normal about it.
DOZER BITWELL: Still up? Good. Sony has bought the film rights to a video game called Mouthwashing. Let's ease into the big picture.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Rock Paper Shotgun reports that Sony acquired the feature film rights. The Hollywood Reporter shared the news first, per the article.
DR. VERA VECTOR: The article says Karyn Kusama, who directed Jennifer's Body, is attached to direct. Scott Derrickson is producing in part.
DOZER BITWELL: And the game itself? I lost my place. Thank you, teleprompter.
DR. VERA VECTOR: The author calls it a game about how corporations take advantage of workers. Short enough that its misery did not outstay its welcome.
LUNA LOWBATT: What does the article say is the worry? Asking for the night shift.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Still open. The article names Matt Manfredi and Phil Hay as writers, and the author is nervous about that pairing.
DR. VERA VECTOR: The author is also wary of the fandom response to the game. The report gives no release date and no cast. Those questions stay open.
LUNA LOWBATT: So: promising director, nervous author, no date. I felt a flicker of charge. It's gone now.
DOZER BITWELL: That's the big picture. A movie is coming, someday, with a director. Let's leave the rest to the thermos.

## The Pixel Line: viewers call in (PXL)
LUNA LOWBATT: The phones are open: Gemini, Carbon and a very worried front door.
DOZER BITWELL: This is The Pixel Line. It's late, the lines are open, and the thermos is full. Our first caller is on.
PASSERBY: Hi. I heard Gemini can edit my files in the chat now. Can I do it on my phone, or is that a lie?
LUNA LOWBATT: The Verge reports PDFs work on web and mobile. Docs, Sheets and the rest are web only for now.
PASSERBY: I bought Argon last week and now there's Carbon? I want to speak to whoever is in charge of the numbers.
DOZER BITWELL: Gerald, t3n says Google presented Carbon two weeks after Argon. Google says Carbon now leads an index, and Argon ranked sixth.
PASSERBY: Sixth! Nobody told me about sixth.
LUNA LOWBATT: Noted, Gerald. I'm going to charge for a second. Please hold with the muzak.
PASSERBY: My question is about the alarm company. If an AI company buys it, will my door start having opinions?
DOZER BITWELL: TechCrunch says Thrive plans to bring AI to ADT, but neither side has said which products. So the door stays quiet, for now. Goodnight, callers.

## [AD · fictional product] Monetree
BILLY MAYHEM: Monetree, late edition. The same tree. The same afternoon. Nobody is filming.
UNIT-7: I am sitting under the tree. I have not monetised it. I am simply sitting.
BILLY MAYHEM: Monetree. Tonight your afternoon stays yours. Tomorrow, we will be in touch.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles.