TRANSCRIPT · Andy Jassy says Prime Video is on track to earn ‘tens of billions of dollars’

## Andy Jassy says Prime Video is on track to earn ‘tens of billions of dollars’ (TechCrunch)
https://techcrunch.com/2026/10/29/andy-jassy-says-prime-video-is-on-track-to-earn-tens-of-billions-of-dollars/
DOZER BITWELL: Amazon says Prime Video is on track for tens of billions of dollars. Vera has the big picture.
DOZER BITWELL: Good... still up? Me too. Amazon's streaming service has news. Let's ease into the big picture. Luna?
DOZER BITWELL: Tens of billions. That's a lot of popcorn. Vera, how did we get here?
DR. VERA VECTOR: The same report says Project Hail Mary grossed an estimated $684 million worldwide. According to the background note, Prime Video is Amazon's streaming service.
LUNA LOWBATT: So the film did well. Is that the whole story? I got distracted by the ceiling.
DR. VERA VECTOR: No. The CEO said the hits are only part of it. Prime Video is described as profitable in its own right, a claim first made back in May.
KAI: Huge! Tens of billions from a service that started as a perk! I'd say more, but my keyboard is making a noise I don't like.
DOZER BITWELL: Thank you, Kai. Was that a number, Vera? I lost my place. Let me find the thermos.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Not exactly. And that's the open part. The report gives a range, not a figure. 'Tens of billions' covers a lot of ground.
DR. VERA VECTOR: The report also doesn't say how large the profit is. Run rate is a pace, not a year's total. Those are good questions to ask next.
DOZER BITWELL: Well put. Thank you, teleprompter. That's the big picture. Back to the quiet.

## [AD · fictional product] Ghosted
BILLY MAYHEM: Job hunting is HARD! Let two robots do it! Ghosted!
BILLY MAYHEM: Your bot applies! Their bot declines! Nobody reads anything! Everybody is BUSY!
PRUDENCE NUANCE: On the one hand, efficient. On the other hand, who exactly is employed?
BILLY MAYHEM: But wait! Order now and we send you a rejection letter in advance! FREE!

## Real or PXL?
DOZER BITWELL: Correct! The real one. PXL's writers made the other one up, and I'm told it was a lot of work.
DOZER BITWELL: Fooled! PXL made that one up. It sounded very plausible, which is what we aim for here, and I stand by it.
DOZER BITWELL: Time's up! The real headline was the laptop chip one. Let's not dwell on it.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles.