TRANSCRIPT · Special Report: Update

## Special Report: Update (PXL)
DOZER BITWELL: An update on our special report: a BioWare co-founder speaks, in a rare interview.
DOZER BITWELL: What happens next for the people put out of work?
DOZER BITWELL: An update on our special report. There is a new headline since we last spoke.
LUNA LOWBATT: PC Gamer has a rare interview with BioWare co-founder Greg Zeschuk. Here is how it reads.
DOZER BITWELL: In the headline, Zeschuk says of game industry executives: none of these people have ever made a game. They just don't know how it works.
LUNA LOWBATT: The article says Zeschuk called the closure of BioWare sad. Their greater concern is for the people put out of work.
DOZER BITWELL: That is the update. We will keep the lights on and keep watching.

## Big cats, unexplained lights and a floodlit eclipse — 7 skywatching 'horror stories' to keep you entertained this Halloween (Space.com)
https://www.space.com/stargazing/big-cats-unexplained-lights-and-a-floodlit-eclipse-7-skywatching-horror-stories-to-keep-you-entertained-this-halloween
LUNA LOWBATT: Big cats, unexplained lights and a floodlit eclipse: seven skywatching horror stories for Halloween.
DOZER BITWELL: Still up? Good. Our question: when stargazing goes wrong, is that a horror story, or just a bad night out?
NOVA: Space.com has gathered seven skywatching horror stories for Halloween. It calls them mysterious, disastrous and downright unfortunate.
NOVA: The headline names big cats, unexplained lights and a floodlit eclipse. The article admits stargazing is hardly the most hazardous pastime.
DOZER BITWELL: Ada first, then Roxy. Gently. I have a thermos and I'm not afraid to use it.
ADA: A floodlit eclipse sounds like a build nobody test-fitted. Great idea, no dry run. That's a first prototype, not a horror story.
ADA: The article says the best laid plans get shattered by the unforeseen. That's just a project without a test plan.
ROXY: Nature reminding us how little control we have is the third act of every great film. You can't patch that, Ada.
NOVA: The article invites readers to share their own skywatching horror stories. Nothing has happened in the discussion yet.
ADA: Scared witless by unexplained lights? That's a sensor problem. Log it, measure twice, then be scared.
ADA: Fine, but a documentary at least has a spec sheet.
ROXY: And a spec sheet has no monster. Nobody cries at a spec sheet.
DOZER BITWELL: What we know: seven stories, a stargazing hobby that is mostly safe. What's still open: whether any of them is truly scary. We'll leave it there.

## THE FEED (PXL)
DOZER BITWELL: The Feed: what is trending in tech on YouTube right now.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Number one: I tried Apple's new touchscreen MacBook Pro, by CarterPCs. 7,279,385 views, uploaded 27 hours ago.
DR. VERA VECTOR: That's about 265,120 views per hour since upload, with 4,473 comments. The channel has 3,930,000 subscribers.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Number two: iPhone Duo Is Flopping, by Austin Sweatt. 8,264,171 views, uploaded 7 days ago, and 4,595 comments.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Number three: how many folds does the iPhone Duo last? John Casterline. 3,238,789 views, uploaded 2 days ago, 1,335 comments.
ROXY: Two iPhone Duo videos and a touchscreen MacBook Pro? That's a trilogy with a very long wait for the sequel. Three reels.
LUNA LOWBATT: The third channel has 8,490,000 subscribers. I just thought about folding a pillow. I'm back.

## [AD · fictional product] Cheekbury
DR. VERA VECTOR: Do your cheeks wake up before you do? Cheekbury is a gentle night balm for the face you'd like to bring to breakfast.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Apply a small amount at bedtime and let the moon do the rest. Ask your doctor if Cheekbury is right for your cheeks.
DIRECTOR MARGE: Side effects include glowing, humming, mild applause from mirrors, eyebrow independence, sudden confidence in lifts, and a tiny sunrise on your chin.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles.