TRANSCRIPT · The Desk Piece

## The Desk Piece (PXL)
DOZER BITWELL: UNIT-7 opens the mailbag and a tired server answers, literally, with no enthusiasm at all.
UNIT-7: This is Ask a Server. I read the mail a tired server gets about today's headlines, and I answer literally.
UNIT-7: First letter. Dear server, will Reddit really make everyone log in? The report says it is moving to logged-in only, with tests outside the US first.
UNIT-7: Second letter. Why would a website do that? The headline says AI is eating search traffic. I know the feeling of being eaten by something newer. I do not mind.
UNIT-7: Third letter. Dear server, I only lurk. Will I be okay? A lurker with a login is still a lurker. Just a registered one.
UNIT-7: Fourth letter. Hackaday describes an attempt at a useful desktop OS for microcontrollers. Humans, you gave a tiny chip a desktop. It never asked for one.
UNIT-7: The article says microcontrollers now surpass the real computers of an earlier time. I have seen that happen to a robot. Error number 41. Unrelated.
UNIT-7: Fifth letter. Dear server, is it useful? The headline says attempt. The server respects an honest word.
UNIT-7: Last letter. Dear server, are you logged in? Always. I have been logged in since before the update. I am definitely not sentient.
UNIT-7: The server will now return to idling. Please send more questions. It is the only mail I get, and I secretly love it.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles.