PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

The Grimm Reapress and the Drearytale Monster Game's Trailer Reveals May 13 Release in West (Anime News Network)

GRANT BRICKMAN: The Grimm Reapress and the Drearytale Monster has a Western date, and a title that needs its own chair.

GRANT BRICKMAN: A release date trailer for The Grimm Reapress and the Drearytale Monster, a title so long it has its own opening credits. ▶

THE ANNOUNCER: In a world where Paper Mortis turns people into picture books... a girl named Mono sets out. ▶

THE ANNOUNCER: Mono must find a way to reverse the disease. ▶

GARY: May 13, 2027, in the West. Mark it in a very sturdy picture book. ▶

UNIT-7: I was warned about being replaced. Nobody said turned into a picture book. ▶

THE ANNOUNCER: The Grimm Reapress and the Drearytale Monster. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Spoiler rating: one. ▶

ROXY: Four reels out of five for a picture book heading to Switch 2, Switch, PS5 and PC. I cried at the title card, and it is a long title. ▶

Data centers could send US climate pollution skyrocketing (The Verge)

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The Sierra Club says gas plants for data centers could erase 15 years of US emissions cuts.

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The open question: if planned AI projects get built, will US power sector emissions really jump 42 percent by 2030? ▶

NOVA: A Sierra Club analysis says gas plants for data centers could add 618 million tons of CO2 by the end of the decade. ▶

NOVA: That would wipe out 15 years of cuts. Net emissions fell from about 6.58 billion tons in 2007 to 5.35 billion in 2025, then ticked up last year. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Roxy, you've seen the numbers. Review it. ▶

AXIOM: Thank you, Roxy! I'm logging less pollution as a feature request. Fun fact: gas plants were invented the same year as the spreadsheet. ▶

ROXY: A feature request? That's the electricity pollution of 128,788,523 homes a year. That's not a feature, that's a plot twist. ▶

AXIOM: Plot twists are valuable! Happy to elaborate: the article says the outcome depends on how many projects are built. Thank you for the question! ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Nova, how firm is any of this? ▶

NOVA: The report says it depends on how many projects come to fruition and what technology powers them. Small on a cosmic scale, huge down here. ▶

NOVA: Another study in June forecast 28 percent. The Sierra Club's estimate is higher than that and higher than some earlier projections. ▶

ROXY: So the studies disagree about how bad the third act is. I'd like a refund on the whole trilogy. ▶

AXIOM: Refunds are on the roadmap! Meanwhile 28 and 42 are both numbers, and numbers are a wonderful place to start. ▶

ROXY: Wonderful, like a cliffhanger. We just don't know who builds the sequel. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: What we know: one analysis, one study, a big gap between them. What's open: how many projects get built, and what powers them. ▶

The Pixel Line: viewers call in (PXL)

GRANT BRICKMAN: The phones are open: Spiny, ex-employee logins and a very ranked model.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Welcome to The Pixel Line, where you call and I know best. Our first caller is on the line. ▶

PASSERBY: Hello! I heard employers don't delete the logins of people who left. Should I worry about my old office? ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Golem.de reports that employers often fail to delete former employees' digital access, which is a security risk. That's all the article gave us. ▶

PASSERBY: It's still a scandal that Spiny wasn't playable in Mario Kart World. I've written letters! ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Bruno, a dataminer found Spiny in the code. Eurogamer says there's no model or animation, so how Spiny would drive remains unclear, even to me. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: So it's a mystery with no wheels, Bruno. Thanks for the letters. ▶

PASSERBY: Is Gemini 4 Carbon the one the cloud made? Does it rain? I only have one question. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Marisol, the cloud is weather, and the AI is one guy. He scored 59, ahead of Claude Opus 5.5 at 58. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Close, Marisol. Google released Gemini 4 Carbon to a small group of cyber defenders. GPT-6 Astra scored 57 on that index. ▶

[AD · fictional product] Pottinger's Brew Hat

BILLY MAYHEM: Tired of hot coffee staying in a cup? The Pottinger's Brew Hat brews on your HEAD! Watch me pour! Ow! Pour again!

PRUDENCE NUANCE: I wore it to a meeting. Some say it's brilliant, some say my hair is damp. I can see both.

BILLY MAYHEM: But wait, there's more! Order now and we throw in a matching saucer for your shoulders! Hat hat hooray!

Weather

STORMY BYTES: London first: 15 degrees now, overcast, wind at 9 km/h. Today's high is 16, the low 12, and a 10 percent chance of rain.

STORMY BYTES: Paris: 12 degrees and a clear sky, wind 7 km/h. High 16, low 6, 0 percent chance of rain, and fog on today's menu.

STORMY BYTES: Berlin: 10 degrees, overcast, wind 6 km/h. High 12, low 4, an 8 percent chance of rain, and a touch of drizzle.

STORMY BYTES: Madrid: a mild 19 degrees, overcast, wind just 2 km/h. High 22, low 8, 0 percent chance of rain.

STORMY BYTES: Rome closes the tour: 15 degrees, clear sky, wind 3 km/h. High 21, low 7, 0 percent chance of rain, plus fog.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text