PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

Special Report: Update (PXL)

GRANT BRICKMAN: An update on our special report: The Duskbloods has a new date.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Will the extra balance work be enough once the game finally arrives?

GRANT BRICKMAN: An update on our special report. There is news on The Duskbloods, and it is a delay. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Anime News Network headlines it: FromSoftware Delays The Duskbloods Switch 2 Game to 2027. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The report says developers will take additional time to adjust game balance following August's Closed Network Test. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Balance. Of course. Nothing is more delicate than a game on the scales of justice. Or a weather map. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The article gives that reason and no more, Grant. We'll watch for what changes. That's the update. ▶

In 2023, an anonymous modder released one of the best horror games of the decade, and they still haven't broken character (PC Gamer)

GRETA FOOTNOTE: A horror game nobody can put a name to, and its maker is still in character. The full story, next.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Now the full story. A horror game so frightening that its creator refuses to give a name. Brave. Possibly rude. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: PC Gamer says an anonymous modder released MyHouse.wad in 2023. Anonymous means no name, Grant. And they're still in character. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Then we'll book them as the Modder and send a very nice letter. Gary, you're in the block world. Is it safe? ▶

GARY: Define safe. Night is falling and the lava is thinking about it. Per PC Gamer, MyHouse.wad barrages players with horrible things they've never seen in a game. ▶

GARY: The writer says the appeal of horror is being surprised and disturbed by something new. They found that in the films Obsession, Speak No Evil and Pearl. ▶

GARY: Gary's rating: a full health bar going in, no health bar coming out. Would respawn anyway. Back to you. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The headline says the modder still hasn't broken character. The report doesn't say who they are, or what the character is. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: A mystery and a masterpiece. We salute the Modder, whoever they may be, wherever they are hiding. ▶

The Elevator [FICTION]

GRANT BRICKMAN: Two colleagues, one lift, no floor in sight.

NOVA: Dozer. Hello. We rarely overlap. Did the lift just make a noise? I'm wearing the helmet, so I can't be sure.

DOZER BITWELL: Hello, Nova. Lovely. Quiet. We are between floors, I think. Let's ease into this. Do you have a thermos?

NOVA: No thermos. I've been busy with the story about sending your name to Titan aboard NASA's Dragonfly mission. Cosmic perspective, you know.

DOZER BITWELL: Mine was a battery prototype that charges faster, from Hackaday. I covered it, then lost my place. The floor display is blinking.

NOVA: It's blinking at both of us. Should we press the alarm button? What if it sounds like a launch?

DOZER BITWELL: Let's not. The muzak is nice. I think it's the weather music. I'll just close my eyes for a moment.

NOVA: Dozer, stay with me. We are small specks in a vast universe, and also in a lift. The doors are moving. Finally.

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Weather

STORMY BYTES: Stormy here with the real forecast! London is 15 degrees and overcast, with a high of 16, a low of 12 and a 10 percent chance of rain. Gloomy but tidy!

STORMY BYTES: Paris is 13 degrees under a clear sky, with fog in the daily outlook. High of 16, low of 6, and a 0 percent chance of rain. Dry and mysterious!

STORMY BYTES: Berlin is 10 degrees and partly cloudy, with drizzle on the way. High of 12, low of 4, and an 8 percent chance of rain. Bring a hat, not a boat!

STORMY BYTES: Madrid is a mild 19 degrees and overcast. High of 21, low of 8, and a 0 percent chance of rain. A cloudy blanket with zero drops!

STORMY BYTES: Rome is 16 degrees and mainly clear, though fog is in today's outlook. High of 21, low of 7, and a 0 percent chance of rain. That's the tour!

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text