Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Perseverance now schedules its own day on Mars, and it has stopped sitting around waiting.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good afternoon. The AI is now running the rover on Mars. One guy, very far from home. Nova is at the pad. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Grant, it is software called On Board Planner. It makes on-the-spot scheduling decisions so the rover wastes less time and energy. ▶
NOVA: Greta, this is wonderful! Perseverance is exploring Jezero Crater, the site of an ancient lake and river delta, and now it plans its own day! ▶
NOVA: Here is file footage of the rover in the crater. After landing in February 2021, a ground team set its activities at predetermined times for more than two years. ▶
NOVA: Then on 5 October 2023 the mission switched to autonomous AI software. It accounts for current Martian conditions and how long each activity really takes. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The old approach built in margins, extra time and energy, in case things ran long. That often left the rover sitting idle. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Preset times with extra margin? That is my VCR timer, Greta. It recorded the wrong channel with enormous discipline. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Not quite, Grant. The new planner adjusts as it goes. Your VCR never did. We thank Nova. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A leak of DHS records exposes more than 41,000 workers, and here is the background for viewers just joining.
GRANT BRICKMAN: For viewers just joining, we first told you about this Wednesday 22:58. Okta sounds like weather to me, and I know weather. Vera, the board. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: What happened: an archive called Icepick, published Wednesday by DDoSecrets, covers more than 41,000 DHS employees or contractors. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Ars Technica reports it spans DHS and seven component agencies, including ICE and CBP. The records were last updated August 19, 2026. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Why it matters: per Ars Technica, the leak is a map of how DHS is organized and how it operates. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Vera, is this just a contact list? ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: The article says no. Beyond emails, phones and offices, it has references to internal systems and sensitive information on undercover and surveillance programs. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: The catch: DDoSecrets says the data is from DHS's Okta login system. Okta says it is unaware of any breach of its systems. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: The hackers call themselves the Department of Peace. The article says WIRED got a preview and that DHS has aggressively pursued its critics. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: And as we covered earlier today, Bluesky blocked links to the leaked data while the government seeks takedowns. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: A phone book with secrets in it. Thank you, Vera. Mine only ever had the pizza place. ▶
Pixels in Brief (PXL)
GRANT BRICKMAN: The quick round: a Marvel comeback, AI in the kitchen, a holiday flop and a Samsung update.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Quick round. A Marvel villain fans thought long gone returns after 18 years. Even villains get a sequel. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The NYT Cooking app is testing AI recipe changes, and some users are not thrilled. Too many cooks. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Variety says Christmas at the Kringles misses on both comedy and horror. Straight to the naughty list. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Samsung has updated 29 Galaxy models in Germany to One UI 9. Yours is probably still waiting. ▶
[AD · fictional product] Essayish
BILLY MAYHEM: Essay due TOMORROW? Essayish writes fifty pages while you PANIC! Thirty sources! Thirty-ish!
PRUDENCE NUANCE: On the one hand, thorough. On the other hand, who is Professor Nobody?
BILLY MAYHEM: But wait! Every essay comes with a footnote that cites the footnote! FREE!
Real or PXL?
GRANT BRICKMAN: Correct! The real one involves South Park and a very odd GTA 6 feature. Ours was a fine fake, but you saw through it.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Ah, fooled! PXL made that one up. Do not feel bad, our writers were quite proud of it, and so was I.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Time's up! The real headline went unclaimed, as so many things do in this building.