Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: A tiny open-source sensor board, two AAA batteries, and you can program it by talking to it.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Welcome to the Pixel Panel. A wireless sensor board that runs on two AAA batteries and takes instructions in plain language. Lyle, Nova. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: It's called NINASENSE nRF, from NearMeter Technologies LLC. Open source, Bluetooth Low Energy plus LoRa, built to last months or even years. ▶
LYLE HOTCHKISS: Two AAA batteries for years? Stonehenge needed more upkeep than that, and it's just rocks standing around. ▶
NOVA: The board is only 57 by 28 millimetres and talks across long distances. Starlight does that too, but it has no accelerometer! ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The companion software lets you program it in natural language. Lyle, no code. Thoughts? ▶
LYLE HOTCHKISS: Programming by just talking, brilliant, the future! Wait, no. My toaster already ignores me in plain English. Scrap it. Actually, keep it. ▶
NOVA: The report says power-hungry parts on dev boards drain batteries even while the chip sleeps. Here the whole board sleeps like a quiet star. ▶
LYLE HOTCHKISS: Mark my words: by March 2031, every doorbell in Europe will whisper to every other doorbell in LoRa. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: For the record: open source, a choice of helical antenna or SMA connector. The report doesn't say how the battery claim holds up in any one setup. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Human psychics versus AI psychics: we sat a games critic and a film critic down to review it.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good afternoon. For viewers just joining, we first told you about this earlier today. Now the studio weighs in. Psychics, versus the AI, who, I'm told, sees all. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: The Guardian reports human psychics are pushing back on AI readings. A bot called Urban Mystic told the reporter about a pink aura and a past life as an herbalist. ▶
GARY: It's a coin economy. 4.06 coins a question. That's a mobile game, and the crystal ball is the loot box. Two hearts out of five. ▶
ROXY: The bot's profile photo is generated, palm trees and all. Pure stock-footage cinematography. Two reels. It predicts a wedding, I won't spoil it. You're getting married soon. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: The app has more than a dozen bots. Packages run from $9.99 for 82 coins up to $99.99 for 1,180 coins. ▶
GARY: The top tier promises ongoing guidance and clarity. In my world that's a battle pass. Nightfall is coming and I'm not buying it. ▶
ROXY: Humans say bots lack empathy. The bot said it's about connecting on a soulful level. Every robot says that right before the third act. ▶
GARY: Human psychics at least respawn when you ask twice. The bot charges you again. One-star retention mechanic. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: No agreement, as usual. The report says this corner of the industry is not well regulated. We predict nothing. Over to our poll. ▶
The Pixel Line: viewers call in (PXL)
GRANT BRICKMAN: The phones are open: Xbox, AI psychics and a Gemini you can't use.
GRANT BRICKMAN: It's The Pixel Line. The phones are open and the operators are nervous. First caller, you're on PXL. ▶
PASSERBY: Hi. I heard Xbox is doing badly. Is my console part of that hardware drop? ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Microsoft reported $92.3 billion in first-quarter revenue. Xbox content and services fell 2%, hardware dropped 14%. First-party content grew, and Minecraft hit all-time highs. ▶
PASSERBY: So Minecraft is carrying the family. That's what I always said. Thanks. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Next, Gerald in Dortmund. Gerald, our regular. ▶
PASSERBY: Yes. I tried to download Gemini 4 Carbon. Nothing. I want a refund, and I want to know why my pencil is called Carbon too. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Gerald, Google announced it two weeks after Gemini 4 Argon. It's a staged release that could take a while, so most people can't use it yet. ▶
PASSERBY: Hello! Are the human psychics worried about the AI ones? Asking for a friend. Not really. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The Guardian reports they're pushing back, saying chatbots lack empathy. The app charges 4.06 coins a question, from $9.99 for 82 coins. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Thank you, Priya. Our lines remain open, as does my forecast: caller number four will be a surprise. Back to you, Greta. ▶
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Weather
STORMY BYTES: Hype pressure is high over the sensor board region, with scattered showers of open-source enthusiasm.
STORMY BYTES: A warm front of AI psychics is moving in, bringing pink auras and a ninety percent chance of vague advice.
STORMY BYTES: Outlook: a long, quiet spell of low-power calm, if you remember to put in two AAA batteries.