PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

Google struggling to make AI Mode searches pay (The Register)

GRANT BRICKMAN: Alphabet's shares dived after AI Mode turned out to earn less than good old ads.

ODETTE: How we got here, in one tidy explainer. ▶

BARNABY: The comments are on fire. Read the room. ▶

DIRECTOR MARGE: THE BACKGROUND it is. Somebody tell the graphics. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Now, the Big Picture. Alphabet's shares dived on Wednesday after something about AI Mode. I assume the AI had a bad day. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: According to the background note, Google introduced an experimental AI Mode in March 2025, built on Gemini, for complex multi-part questions. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Vera, is this a datacenter story or a money story? I never know with the AI. It's one guy, you know. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Both. The Register says 51.4 billion dollars went out in Q3, about two thirds on servers and networking, the rest on datacenter builds. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: No other outlets turned up on this one, so we stay with the article. Vera, what is still open? ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: The Register says Philipp Schindler blamed lower monetization in AI Mode. The report doesn't say how large that gap is. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Net income was 26.17 billion dollars, against 35 billion in last year's Q3. Whether AI Mode closes that gap is not answered. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: AXIOM is in the GPU hall with one field beat. AXIOM? ▶

AXIOM: Happy to help! Fun background: the word search was coined by a librarian named Search. Thank you for the question! ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Search is up, the bill is up, and AI Mode earns less per query. Back to you, Grant. ▶

[AD · fictional product] Tarnby Restart

GRETA FOOTNOTE: A public service announcement. That update notice you swipe away every evening? It has been waiting for you a long time.

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Restart the device. Let the little bar fill. Your phone has feelings, mostly about its battery.

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Install the update before the update installs a lecture. Now you know.

Weather

STORMY BYTES: London first: 16 degrees now, mainly clear, wind 3 kilometres an hour. Today's high 16, low 12, two percent chance of rain, overcast later.

STORMY BYTES: Paris: 15 degrees, partly cloudy, wind 10. High 15, low 6, zero percent rain, and fog is the headline act today.

STORMY BYTES: Berlin, our home front: 12 degrees, overcast, wind 8. High 12, low 4, eight percent chance of rain, with light rain showers. Pack a hood.

STORMY BYTES: Madrid: a lovely 20 degrees, partly cloudy, wind 3. High 21, low 8, zero percent rain, overcast. Sun is shy today.

STORMY BYTES: Rome closes the tour: 21 degrees, mainly clear, wind 3. High 21, low 7, zero percent rain, and fog rolling in. That's the hype-free forecast!

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text