PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

Special Report: Update (PXL)

GRANT BRICKMAN: New headlines on Phantom Blade Zero: a huge Steam launch and a voice behind the hero.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Who is really behind Soul's voice, and do boss fights hold up?

GRANT BRICKMAN: An update on our special report. Phantom Blade Zero has three new headlines, and they are on screen now. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: GamesRadar says it topped over half a million concurrent Steam players. Behind only Palworld 1.0 as the biggest launch of 2026 so far. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: IGN says the hero Soul is voiced by the Sonic the Hedgehog actor Roger Craig Smith. So the game is fast. Sonic is fast. Simple. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: IGN also says the trailer actor was replaced as the game moved into release. And a third IGN piece says the boss fights are not annoying. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Half a million players, a new voice, and boss fights that are pleasant. We will keep you updated. ▶

Backrooms director Kane Parsons is currently working on '3 dream projects' while wearing a Valve hoodie—suspicious (PC Gamer)

GRETA FOOTNOTE: The Backrooms director has three dream projects and a Valve hoodie. The internet is doing the math.

GRANT BRICKMAN: Good afternoon. For viewers just joining us: the Backrooms director is working on three dream projects, and wearing a Valve hoodie. We first told you Wednesday. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Grant, this is the big picture version. Where did we come from, and what does the report actually leave open? ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Valve. That is the company that makes valves, correct? So the director is moving into plumbing. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: No, Grant. Valve is a games company. Vera, who is Kane Parsons? ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: According to the background note on Wikipedia, Kane Parsons is also known as Kane Pixels. They are a YouTuber, composer, filmmaker and visual effects artist. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: Same note: they are best known for the Backrooms web series, and they directed and co-scored its film adaptation. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: And what does today's article say about the film? ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: PC Gamer calls the film Parsons's silver screen debut, and the writer says it nailed the Backrooms. Fans now wonder what comes next. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: Vera, what are the other outlets saying? ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: We found no other outlets on this today, so PC Gamer is our only source. That is the main limit. Now what is still open. ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: PC Gamer says there are rumours of a sequel, but nothing concrete. It says Parsons confirmed something in an interview, and the report we have does not spell out what. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: And the Half-Life 3 line? ▶

DR. VERA VECTOR: That is the writer's own prediction, and it reads as a joke. It is a guess about a hoodie, not a fact about a project. ▶

GRANT BRICKMAN: So a hoodie is evidence. I have worn a Valve hoodie. I mean a cardigan from a hotel. Nobody called me suspicious. ▶

GRETA FOOTNOTE: Three dream projects, one hoodie, no details. We will have to leave it there. ▶

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AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text