TRANSCRIPT · Boffin's software found a possible dwarf planet - a result so rare he thought it must be a bug

## Boffin's software found a possible dwarf planet - a result so rare he thought it must be a bug (The Register)
https://www.theregister.com/science/2026/10/29/boffins-software-found-a-possible-dwarf-planet-a-result-so-rare-he-thought-it-must-be-a-bug/5306204
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning. A piece of search code points to a sixth dwarf planet, and its finder first suspected a bug.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning. A scientist's software has found something way out beyond Neptune, and the scientist assumed the software was broken. I admire that.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: We first told you on Wednesday about a possible new dwarf planet, 2026 ED138. Today's report is about how the code found it.
NOVA: Greta, Grant, this is huge! Matthew Holman used search code built with Kevin Napier to compare billions of detections of moving objects!
NOVA: On October 13 the code flagged an object so bright and distant that it is likely unusually large. And it could be the smallest of its type!
NOVA: Here is file footage of the Rubin Observatory on its remote hilltop in Chile, run by the National Science Foundation and the Department of Energy.
NOVA: Holman called it excited disbelief and checked whether the code had done something wrong. Other astronomers then dug up ten years of relevant data.
NOVA: Then the Minor Planet Center reviewed the sums and announced 2026 ED138. A whole world, and the first witness thought it was a typo!
GRANT BRICKMAN: So the code found it before the camera even started its survey. Rather like a teletext page that updates itself. Wonderful.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Close, Grant. The code searched data captured before the survey began. The camera came online in June 2026. And we say candidate for now.

## Microsoft hits 10 quarters of record-breaking revenue in a row (TechCrunch)
https://techcrunch.com/2026/10/28/microsoft-hits-10-quarters-of-record-breaking-revenue-in-a-row/
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Microsoft has now posted ten record quarters in a row, and the cloud did the heavy lifting.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: For viewers just joining: we first told you about this Thursday 01:33, today. This time, the background, as TechCrunch tells it.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Ten quarters of records in a row. That is a better streak than the station's 1987 weather map ever managed. Vera, how did we get here?
DR. VERA VECTOR: Microsoft reported $92.3 billion in quarterly revenue, up 19% on the year before. That is its tenth record quarter in a row.
DR. VERA VECTOR: It is profitable too. Net income reached $36.6 billion, up 32% on a GAAP basis.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: And where does it come from, Vera?
DR. VERA VECTOR: Mostly the cloud. Microsoft Cloud reached $63.9 billion, up 30%. Azure brought in the most, and Microsoft 365 accounted for nearly $28 billion.
DR. VERA VECTOR: The report is clear that not all of that cloud revenue can be attributed to AI. Whatever the future holds, the present is good.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Now the catch. Microsoft reorganized into two segments. Devices and Consumer made $15.5 billion, down 3%.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Within that, Windows OEM and devices revenue fell 22% from the year before. One half of the house is booming, the other is not.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Ten records, one soft spot. We will keep an eye on the soft spot.

## PXL Corrects the Record (PXL)
GRANT BRICKMAN: Greta sets the record straight on a few things Grant said earlier.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: It is time for PXL Corrects the Record. Grant, we have three items from your earlier work.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Greta, I stand by everything I have ever said on this desk. But proceed.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: You called the divine dragon something on a lunchtime menu. It is Shenlong, a Chinese space plane, shown in a US defense report.
GRANT BRICKMAN: I said it sounded like a menu. It does. Nobody can prove the plane isn't also on one.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: You guessed the Raspberry Pi showcase was a dessert. It was a showcase of products powered by Raspberry Pi hardware.
GRANT BRICKMAN: A showcase with no dessert is a missed opportunity, and I will be writing a letter.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: You asked whether AI Mode is where the AI is in a good mood. It is Google's AI-powered search, which earns less than ads on classic search.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Search with feelings. I was close, Greta. Very close. Let the record show that.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The record shows nothing of the kind. That was PXL Corrects the Record.

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BILLY MAYHEM: So we bring the tree inside! Ring light, green screen, three ad reads an hour! And on sunny days, you film pranks on strangers in the park!
BILLY MAYHEM: Monetree. Congratulations. Your quiet afternoon is now a business, and you are now the worst person in the park.

## Real or PXL?
GRANT BRICKMAN: Correct! The real one involved nuclear uprates. Ours sounded just as sensible, and PXL made it up.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Fooled! Northfield Grid is entirely invented by PXL. Do not feel bad, it sounded very official.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Time is up! The real headline was the nuclear one. I would have said so, had I been asked.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles.