PXL News
Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: While you were asleep: Instagram's boss said negativity around AI is going to get worse, tied to a fear of being left behind.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A hobby box opens only for a gesture drawn over 64 magnetic sensors, and NASA committed to launching its UV telescope UVEX in 2031.
GRANT BRICKMAN: All that, and I slept through every minute of it. Good morning.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Palworld's developer would love a Switch 2 version, lawsuit and all. We ask the street.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning. We first told you on Wednesday that Pocketpair would love Palworld on Switch 2. Now they call it a "really amazing platform". ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The legal battle with Nintendo is still ongoing. The CEO says it would happen only if a future presents an opportunity. Gary asked the street. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: The Switch 2. Is that the sequel to the light switch? Gary, take it away. ▶
GARY: Word on the Street, live in the block world. The sun is up, nothing has exploded yet. Let's ask around. Mind the lava. ▶
PASSERBY: If the lawyers allow it, sure. I'd happily catch little creatures on the train to work. ▶
PASSERBY: Praising the console of the people who are suing you. That's a bold move. Respect. ▶
PASSERBY: I'd play it on both. Can the pals come out of the box in handheld mode too? ▶
GARY: Four out of five hearts. Friendly words, one lawsuit boss fight still in the way, and no health bar to check. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The report doesn't say when, or whether, a Switch 2 version could ever happen. For now it is a polite wish. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Google's AI Mode earns less than ads, and the street has opinions about it.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: For viewers just joining: we first told you about this Thursday 06:39 today. Alphabet shares dived almost ten percent after Google said AI Mode earns less than ads. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: AI Mode. Is that the setting where the AI is in a good mood? I only know the one guy. AXIOM, over to you. ▶
AXIOM: Good morning! Thank you for that question. Search revenue rose 12 percent to $63.25 billion in Q3. Let's ask the street how that feels. ▶
PASSERBY: I just want my search to find the thing. If the AI answers, who pays for the ad? ▶
PASSERBY: Fifty-one billion dollars on servers and datacenters in one quarter? My shed has one shelf and I'm proud of it. ▶
PASSERBY: I use the AI answers all the time. If they don't make money, will they still be free? ▶
AXIOM: Wonderful points! As background, search was originally invented to find lost socks. I am fairly confident. Thank you for listening! ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The sock detail is not in the report. What is: net income was $26.17 billion in the quarter, against $35 billion in last year's Q3. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Fewer socks, fewer billions. Lovely. Enjoy your commute, everyone. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Greta sets the record straight on three things Grant said earlier.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning. It is time for PXL Corrects the Record, a segment I have never needed, but I'm told it exists. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Grant asked if 210 gigabytes fits in the cloud, or if we wait for a clear day. The cloud is servers, not weather. The 210 GB is only a leak. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: I stand by it. A clear day helps everything. I was speaking in broad terms. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: On Apeiron, Grant asked if it has a breakfast menu. It's a spaceship named by public vote. Not a restaurant. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Everything is a restaurant if you're hungry enough. I was ahead of the story. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: And Materialise was not breaking news. Revenue rose 2.1 percent to 67.7 million euros, but net profit fell to 1.38 million. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Breaking is a feeling, Greta. I felt it. Thank you, viewers, and enjoy your coffee. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: We'll note that Grant has noted nothing. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: This is a public service announcement. Look at your browser. Is the tab count a number you would say out loud to a doctor?
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Close the tabs you opened for later. Later has come, and it did not bring a bookmark.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Quillby Clear reminds you that a tab is not a filing system. Close one today. Now you know.
AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text