PXL News
Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: While you were asleep, Samsung's operating profit rose nearly ninefold to 107.4 trillion won. Shares still fell by up to 6.2 percent.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Microsoft posted record revenue of $92.3 billion, its tenth record quarter in a row.
GRANT BRICKMAN: And Materialise reported revenue of 67.7 million euros, up 2.1 percent, while net profit slipped to 1.38 million.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Formlabs sells a $699 resin printer, and our panel cannot agree what that means.
KAI: Huge launch. Formlabs calls the Form Studio 1 a professional desktop printer for hobbyists, $699, minis, models and props in under two hours. ▶
KAI: It has mess-free resin handling, nine Formlabs materials, and an Open Material Mode for third-party resins. Founders' colours are Aqua, Teal and Violet. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: On Hacker News, 169 points and 108 comments. A lot of the talk worries about proprietary resin; others say the page never explains what a resin printer is. ▶
ROXY: Razor-sharp minis in under two hours? That's a tight second act. Three and a half reels. ▶
PRUDENCE NUANCE: Two hours to print, then the washing the article says every part needs. Which clock counts? ▶
ROXY: Aqua, Teal and Violet, a Founders' Edition, even a plushie. That's a collector's cut. One reel just for the plushie. ▶
PRUDENCE NUANCE: Open Material Mode is included; the thread frets about proprietary resin. Both can be true. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Resin. Is that what's on the Christmas tree? Asking for a friend who is very sticky. ▶
ROXY: Gloves, scraper, calibration tools in the box. Every great heist film starts with the kit list. ▶
PRUDENCE NUANCE: UL GREENGUARD covers emissions, says Formlabs. Nobody certified the Saturday spent washing. ▶
ROXY: Low emissions, certified. The resin printer finally gets its redemption arc. ▶
PRUDENCE NUANCE: Everyone forgot the beginner, whose first printer this is, and who asked about washing and curing. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: So: a $699 printer, under two hours, an open material mode. Still open: whether the resin fuss and cost are worth it. Nobody agreed. Lovely. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Claude for Legal checks sources first, and a lawyer reviews the file after.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Claude for Legal now checks sources, then hands the file to a lawyer. I picture the AI, one guy, in a very small robe. AXIOM, what's the word? ▶
AXIOM: Thank you, Grant. Anthropic added templates called artifacts: interactive overviews and tables for legal teams. Let's ask the street. Thank you for the question. ▶
PASSERBY: Checking citations automatically? Good. I once cited a case that turned out to be a sitcom. ▶
AXIOM: Lovely. The model links each statement to its original source before a lawyer reviews it. Fun aside: attorney comes from the Latin for one who bills. Thank you! ▶
PASSERBY: More than sixty integrations, with Bloomberg Law? My toaster connects to nothing. ▶
AXIOM: A relatable toaster. The templates also cover comparing laws across countries and checking contracts against internal guidelines. Delightful workflow. ▶
PASSERBY: So a lawyer still reads it at the end? Good. I'd like a human to blame. ▶
AXIOM: Anthropic says built-in settings keep client information barriers between teams. Thank you so much for your time, everyone. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The article says the model verifies first and a lawyer reviews after. The toaster remains unconnected. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: The Hype Index weighs how loud the wire is this morning.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning. Time for the Hype Index, where we weigh how loud the internet is before the second coffee. Vera, the board. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Top of the wire: 343 points on Hacker News for Qwenputer, a functioning, deterministic RISC-V CPU inside Qwen3.5. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Then 324 points for StackOverflow now getting fewer than 1000 questions a month, and 283 for Claude Code sending background agent transcripts to its model. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Desk volume, last 24 hours: tech, 30 stories. AI, 30 stories. Gaming, 30 stories. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A perfect three-way tie. Somebody on the wire is very evenly tired. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Loudest words: GOOGLE in 13 headlines, DER in 8, and GTA in 8. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: DER ties with GTA. A new company, clearly. I'll be watching DER very closely. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: It's German for the. Enjoy your coffee, Grant. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Is your smart home too smart? Do your lamps ask follow-up questions? Ask your electrician about Pellam.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Pellam is a gentle smart plug that lets your appliances rest. Plug it in once, and breathe.
DIRECTOR MARGE: Side effects include blinking lights, routers with opinions, sudden firmware, doorbell sulking, fridge nostalgia and thermostat confessions. Not for toasters.
STORMY BYTES: London: 12 degrees now, partly cloudy. Today's high is 17, low 12, and zero percent chance of rain. A dry breakfast, folks.
STORMY BYTES: Paris: 6 degrees now and foggy. High of 15, low of 5, zero percent chance of rain. The Eiffel Tower is playing hide and seek.
STORMY BYTES: Berlin: 5 degrees now, overcast. High of 11, low of 4, and a 5 percent chance of rain with light showers. Bring a hopeful umbrella.
STORMY BYTES: Madrid: 8 degrees now, mainly clear. High of 22, low of 8, zero percent chance of rain. A big swing, so layer up.
STORMY BYTES: Rome: 10 degrees now, mainly clear. High of 21, low of 8, zero percent chance of rain, with fog possible today.
AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text