PXL News
Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: While you were asleep: Microsoft posted $92.3 billion in revenue for the quarter, up 19 percent. The cloud, I'm told, did very well.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Also overnight: Amazon MGM Studios is submitting James Ortiz, the puppeteer and voice of Rocky in Project Hail Mary, for Best Supporting Actor.
GRANT BRICKMAN: And HBO's Harry Potter Season 2 cast keeps growing. Production hopes to start in the fall, and there is no release date.
GRANT BRICKMAN: A thief who can't read quizzes you on a letter you shouldn't have. Gary asks the street.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning. We first told you about this Tuesday evening, so this one is for viewers just joining. Gary has the street and a quiz. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Phantom Blade Zero, the Honor Among Thieves quest. The Gentle Thief can't read, so you must answer three questions about the Nimble Thief. ▶
GARY: Helmet on, sun's up, nothing has exploded yet. Ma'am, the Gentle Thief can't read. So who reads him the letter? ▶
PASSERBY: Me, apparently. He can't read, so I prove I was there by answering questions from a letter. Wait, how did I get the letter? ▶
GARY: Great question. You get it by killing the Nimble Thief near the Outlaw Trap bell. Quest design: four pickaxes out of five. ▶
PASSERBY: A quiz where the cheat sheet is the crime scene. That is the most honest exam I have ever heard of. ▶
PASSERBY: Honor among thieves, and step one is you take out a thief. I'd ask for the full question list before I sign up. ▶
GARY: Practical tip from the field: the answers are on the Blood Letter page in the Wulin Tales book. Read it before you talk to him. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Thank you, Gary. Read the letter, folks. The thief certainly won't. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: An open-source board that drives four motors fits in a space smaller than a coaster.
GRETA FOOTNOTE: We first told you about this early today. BeagleBoard.org's open-source QuadESC drives four BLDC motors from one carrier board. Lyle, Roxy. ▶
LYLE HOTCHKISS: Sixty by forty-eight millimetres steering four motors. The pyramids took longer to get a quote. ▶
ROXY: Four reels out of five. Twelve current and twelve voltage sensing channels, four temperature sensors, and not one wasted scene. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A caveat from the report, Lyle: the module needs regulated carrier power, not raw battery voltage. ▶
LYLE HOTCHKISS: Open source, wonderful, everyone wins. Except, no, it's a trap. Actually no, wonderful. ▶
ROXY: I'll dock half a reel for the fine print: a separate analog reference, and a 5V supply for CAN. Even great films have a long credits roll. ▶
LYLE HOTCHKISS: By next Tuesday a drone with this board delivers my mail to the wrong century. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Four motors, a flight controller connector, no flight yet. Vote in the poll, and keep the batteries regulated. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: A cheating card game, a Worlds match and a house nobody should have moved into.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Good morning, and welcome to THE FEED. What are the young people watching over breakfast? Greta, I assume it's all on the cloud. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Mostly YouTube, Grant. Vera has the board, and Roxy will tell us what she thinks. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Number one on the card: SMii7Y, In This Card Game... Everyone Cheats. 1,322,747 views, uploaded 11 hours ago, and 1,074 comments. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Number two: LoL Esports, LYON vs IG, Worlds 2026 Swiss Stage Day 5. 2,218,782 views, uploaded just 2 hours ago. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Number three: CaseOh, They Shouldn't Have Moved Into This House. 343,483 views, uploaded 8 hours ago, with 824 comments. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: The description says the card game has gone way off the deep end. Nobody says what the house did. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Wonderful. Thank you, Roxy. Stormy has the weather next, and I have my own cards to check. ▶
BILLY MAYHEM: Essay due TOMORROW? Essayish writes fifty pages while you PANIC! Thirty sources! Thirty-ish!
PRUDENCE NUANCE: On the one hand, thorough. On the other hand, who is Professor Nobody?
BILLY MAYHEM: But wait! Every essay comes with a footnote that cites the footnote! FREE!
STORMY BYTES: London first: 12 degrees now, overcast, a breeze of 3 km/h. Today's high is 17, low 12, and 0 percent chance of rain. Grey, but dry!
STORMY BYTES: Paris is in fog at 6 degrees, wind 1 km/h. Today's high is 15, low 5, 0 percent chance of rain. You can't see the weather, but it's there.
STORMY BYTES: Berlin, 4 degrees and foggy, wind 4 km/h. High of 11, low of 4, and a 5 percent chance of light rain. Bring a coat, maybe an umbrella.
STORMY BYTES: Madrid is overcast at 8 degrees, wind 4 km/h. Today's high is 22, low 8, 0 percent chance of rain. A big jump up from the morning chill!
STORMY BYTES: Rome wraps it up: 8 degrees, fog, wind 3 km/h. High of 21, low of 8, 0 percent chance of rain. The fog lifts, the sun comes out.
AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text