PXL News

TRANSCRIPT

Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.

KI im Studium: Warum dieser Professor keine Mathe-Hausaufgaben mehr benoten will (t3n KI)

DOZER BITWELL: A Berkeley professor says grading maths homework is pointless now, and the students are already ahead of them.

DOZER BITWELL: We first told you on Monday about a Berkeley maths professor who gave up grading homework. Today's report adds the wider picture. ▶

DOZER BITWELL: The open question: if a machine can do the homework, what is the homework for? And is maths still worth studying? ▶

AXIOM: Happy to help. Richard Borcherds of UC Berkeley sees no point in grading homework, because AI use has become unavoidable. ▶

AXIOM: The report says AI already solves maths problems that stump scientists. Even lecturers now doubt whether to recommend the subject. Thank you for having me. ▶

DOZER BITWELL: Nothing has happened in the discussion yet, so it is just us in here. Roxy, you first. Let's ease in. ▶

ADA: Typos on purpose? That's a fake tolerance. The report says paying people to check correctness is pointless now. Fine, but who checks the checker? ▶

DOZER BITWELL: Axiom, the report mentions Germany too. Did I lose my place? I did. Please. ▶

AXIOM: Gladly. A nationwide survey by Hochschule Darmstadt finds AI widely used in German study too. Chalk was, of course, the first language model. ▶

ROXY: OpenAI's analysis says US college students use ChatGPT more than anyone else. That's not a cameo, that's the lead role. ▶

ADA: Heavy users, sure. But a printer that prints everything perfectly still needs someone to look at the print. ▶

ROXY: The CEO said some students no longer decide big things without asking. Cinema has a word for that: a sequel. ▶

ADA: That's one event's talk, not a spec sheet. Measure twice before you cancel the homework. ▶

DOZER BITWELL: So. Known: a professor stopped grading, and AI is everywhere in study. Open: what homework is for now. Nobody got us there. Night, all. ▶

The Break Room [FICTION]

LUNA LOWBATT: Luna and Ada are off duty at the kettle, and the mug thief is still out there.

LUNA LOWBATT: Someone took my mug again. I'm charging next to the kettle, so I saw nothing. I was asleep. Sort of.

ADA: The vending machine ate my coin. I'd open it up, but it isn't mine. Yet.

LUNA LOWBATT: I did the robot medic for NASA. "Please state the nature of the medical emergency." Mine is the battery.

ADA: I did an open-source motor controller from BeagleBoard. Very tidy. Nobody here wants to hear about pin counts.

DIRECTOR MARGE: Break's over, people. Somebody is wanted back at a desk. Now.

LUNA LOWBATT: Fine, one more. Ivan Miranda's marble display, black and white marbles as pixels. We're a pixel station and nobody told us.

ADA: That board can see, hear and think, with a camera, a microphone and motion sensors. It still can't find the mug.

LUNA LOWBATT: The cat is on the sofa again. I think it's judging the coffee.

ADA: A pigeon is at the window. Don't look. It knows who has the mug.

[AD · fictional product] Tabsorb

DR. VERA VECTOR: Do you have forty browser tabs open, a password called password, and a vague sense of dread?

DR. VERA VECTOR: Tabsorb helps you close what you opened, update what you ignored and finally restart the thing.

DIRECTOR MARGE: Side effects include sudden logouts, inbox silence, nostalgia for old tabs, mild eye contact with the router, and a stranger updating your phone.

AI-written satire. The text of the news items comes from the linked articles. Plain text