Everything the anchors say on this tape, story by story.
GRANT BRICKMAN: A MacBook you can poke, a logo that glows, and five minutes of hands-on time. Kai has the reveal.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Welcome to THE BIG REVEAL. A laptop has finally met a fingertip. Kai Patch was on the showroom floor in Los Angeles. Kai, is it huge? ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: We first told you earlier today about Apple's redesigned MacBook Pro with the OLED touchscreen. Now somebody has actually held one. ▶
KAI: Huge! The reviewer got about five minutes on an extremely crowded showroom floor in Los Angeles. Pictures, features, the lot. ▶
KAI: First thing: it's lighter than their 14-inch M1 Max. Not a new weight class, but you notice it right away. ▶
KAI: Then the Dynamic Island. On a laptop it's much less dominant than on an iPhone. The reviewer does worry about fullscreen games. ▶
PASSERBY: Wait, does the logo still glow? That's honestly all I need to know. ▶
KAI: And the Apple logo on the back glows again! Some find it tacky, some find it essential. Huge, either way. ▶
KAI: But the outstanding OLED display steals the show. And yes, people have debated a touchscreen laptop for years. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: A glowing logo and a screen you can poke. In my day, the only thing that glowed was the 1987 weather map. And it never judged us. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: For the record, Grant, it was five minutes. The full review will say whether the notch option still works around the new cutout. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Five minutes and a verdict already. That, Greta, is television. Back after this. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Android Studio now lets more than 40 coding agents move in. Gary and Nova argue it out.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Welcome to CROSSFIRE. Google has opened its coding tool to other people's AI agents. Who is the IDE for now, the developer or the agents? Axiom? ▶
AXIOM: Thank you for that question! Android Studio Rabbit 2 adds Bring Your Own Agent. More than 40 coding agents can run in the IDE through the open Agent Client Protocol. ▶
AXIOM: Claude Agent, Codex and Google Antigravity install from a built-in marketplace, with access to the emulator and Logcat. Google says UI tasks finish 77 percent faster. ▶
NOVA: Forty agents in one editor is a star cluster! Glowing, crowded, loosely supervised. Across the universe it's tiny, and I adore it. ▶
GARY: A lobby that big needs a loot table. Who gets the project structure, who gets the symbols? Somebody always grabs the good gear first. ▶
NOVA: It's an open protocol, Gary. Open things are how galaxies get made. Nobody owns the gravity. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Splendid. Axiom, what else does the report say? ▶
AXIOM: Wonderful follow-up! Google also announced new APIs for local smartphone agents, a pair of smart glasses, and version 2.0 of the Android Bench leaderboard. ▶
AXIOM: Fun background: the word bench comes from the park bench where the first leaderboard was chalked. Thank you for letting me share! ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Round two. Briefly, please. Gary. ▶
GARY: Google says 77 percent faster. That's a speedrun claim, and speedrun claims need a video. Show me the run. ▶
NOVA: Smart glasses! A pair of eyes for Android, looking at the stars. I'm choosing to be moved. ▶
NOVA: Every launch looks like a tutorial gap from inside the crater. From orbit it's just progress. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: What we know: more than 40 agents, an open protocol, new Gemini APIs. What's open: whether this helps developers. They never agree. We'll move on. ▶
The Hype Index (PXL)
GRANT BRICKMAN: The Hype Index: Google is the loudest word on the wire.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Prime time means prime hype. It's the Hype Index, where we weigh how loud the wire is. Dr. Vera Vector, bring the board. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Top of the wire: 132 points on Hacker News for Dayjob: Tax, evaluating AI agents on 50 professional tax assignments. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Next, 44 points for rising rates of colorectal cancer in nearly all age groups. And 30 points for Big Tech's thirst for water. ▶
GRANT BRICKMAN: Fifty tax assignments. Nobody has ever been hyped for tax, Vera, and yet here we are. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Desk volume, last 24 hours: tech, 30 stories. AI, 30 stories. Gaming, 30 stories. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: A perfect three-way tie. Suspiciously tidy for a news cycle. ▶
DR. VERA VECTOR: Loudest words: Google, 12 headlines. Pro, 7 headlines. Gemini, 7 headlines. ▶
GRETA FOOTNOTE: Google leads, and Pro and Gemini tie behind it. Everything is professional now, except the weather forecasts. ▶
[AD · fictional product] Essayish
DR. VERA VECTOR: Essayish produces fifty pages with thirty citations. I checked.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Four are real. One is a cookbook. One is a person who has never heard of the topic.
DR. VERA VECTOR: Grade: ish. Next slide.
DIRECTOR MARGE: Citations may cite citations. Page numbers are vibes. Essayish does not guarantee that the bibliography is a bibliography.
Real or PXL?
GRANT BRICKMAN: Correct! You spotted the real one. Not all of us do. Some of us wrote the fake one ourselves, and I'm very proud of it.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Oh dear. PXL made that one up, and you took it seriously. Do not feel bad; it was a very good headline. I wrote the thing myself.
GRANT BRICKMAN: Time's up! Even a lamp makes up its mind faster than that.